Appeal for unbanning (Denied - Ghost)

Friosis

Lord of Altera
Hey guys, been awhile since I was banned, and i've had a long time to both reflect on why I was banned, and if i'm honest, remake and learn from the mistakes i've made here. After taking some time away from RP as a whole, and receiving an important talk from a new friend, I think I can deal with the social aspects of being in a community that I just couldn't before. I'll admit, I am not a whole new person, as much as I would have liked others to believe before. I still have some of the same petty, socially awkward and negative thoughts as I did before. But with some sound advice from a friend, i've learned from my past mistakes, and chosen to stop focusing on trying to change who I am, and instead change how I see and interact with everyone else.

After taking this time away and, reevaluating my life and attitude as a whole, I understand that I really take things far to seriously. I let things get to me, and worse, I let myself build up those feelings, until I act out on them in inappropriate ways. If there's one thing that i've actually been able to change about myself over these six months, it's how I react to things in life. I've grown a sense of humor, a bit of a thick skin, and something I was most lacking before, a casual attitude towards life as a whole. These aspects were always things I assumed I had, I thought I was cool, level headed and unwaveringly correct. When my actions have done nothing but show the opposite. I've learned what it really means to be level headed, and calm. It's not to try and ignore the things that are getting to you, or to try and be snide back out of spite. It's to react in appropriate ways towards the things that get to you, as simple as that sounds, it's something i've had trouble doing for so long until now.

I know this appeal has been more of me sharing a lot of my flaws and issues than actually making a case for my unbanning, but I thought it was important that I show some self-awareness towards my issues, rather than only apologizing for them. With that said, I still have an apology to make, to the server, to the staff, and to those I interact with the most, who's trust, companionship, and interaction with me i've let myself abuse and rely on for too long.

I would like to personally, honestly apologize to everyone on the server for my inability to control myself. I'd like to apologize to the staff for having to once again, deal with both my behavior and the aftermath it causes. Finally, I want to apologize to the people I have personally interacted with. From the few who still think I can improve, to the many who have given up on helping me, or never believed in me from the start. More than anyone else I feel remorse and guilt for my attitude towards you, I've been an annoyance to the server, a problem for the staff, but to what friends I have had, i've been the worst friend anyone can have. I've been inappropriate, childish, and full of false promises to improve, and that is towards the people I thought were close to me. The people who I didn't like, or hated have seen some of the most toxic, rude, and outright despicable behavior I could muster the courage to act on. I want to apologize the most to them, nobody in this community deserved to deal with my attitude, what I have done was beyond childish, it was just wrong.

With all of this said, I would like to leave the past behind me, with what time I have before I leave, I would like to experience the role-play, friendships, and community this server has always provided once again. I know this is a repeat of a repeat for the staff, and I make no excuses for it. I have written this appeal over and over again, and every time I have, i've known that no matter what I say there is no making up for my behavior. I won't delude myself into thinking that I can earn forgiveness from anyone after what i've done, I make this apology not as a request for forgiveness, but as a sincere statement of remorse.

If you've bothered to read the full appeal from me, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for hearing what I have to say, and I understand if you think I haven't changed, or if you still consider me pathetic for what i've done in the past. As much as I would like to leave those things behind me, I accept that I can never expect them to be forgotten. Thank you for your time.
 

The Living Ghost

Thing One
Retired Staff
On record, across your forum accounts Friosis and Patrickdxs, this would make the fifth time that you have come to us with the promise that you've mended your ways. Forgive us if we're getting tired of seeing your ban appeals.

Focusing on the appeal prior to this one, you mentioned how you had learned an 'overdue lesson'. The lesson that you were going to keep your attitude in check and move forward positively on the server. Within a month of that promise you had been banned again for behavioural misconduct, and after 6 months with the inability to appeal you come back again spinning the same tale, only this time with more paragraphs. We could be 'bothered' to read this appeal through to the end but have found nothing new.

We appreciate your statement of remorse, however sincere it may be, and wish you luck for the future. Yet, the second chances we have gifted you have been wasted time and time again, and you will not be unbanned.
 
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