Calling all tabletop RPers! Dungeons & Dragons, Pathfinder, etc.What are your favorite stories from D&D? Funny stories? Memorable lines? Exciting character arcs?
I'll start with one of my favorites. I'll throw out more if this thread gets rolling.
--------------------------------------------------In the early days of playing Pathfinder, I was still learning the rules. I wasn't sure what was what, what was allowed in a turn, what could or could not be done. All the fun stuff. I was in a session with some friends, two of which are now my roommates. @Bbutton was the DM at the time and I think we went pretty easy on the rules during this encounter because I was such a newbie. And also because of the absurdly hilarious direction it took.
Anyway. I was a Vishkanya barbarian, I recall. Not exactly an efficient pairing of race and class, because a Vishkanya's bodily fluids are poison. Spit, blood, etc. Roommate #2, I THINK was a Vanara Summoner. IIRC there was a Kobold Rogue somewhere in the mix. I dunno. The party was up against a drake that crashed into this village or town or some such. It kept using its bite attack on us, much to our annoyance and aggravation. Roommate #2 was getting pretty tired of the biting, so he turned to the DM and says, "I use the spell Open/Close on it."
The DM gives Roommate #2 a really odd look. "Wh-"
"Open/Close just makes a door remain open or closed, right? What is a door but something on a hinge? That drake's jaw has a hinge. So I use open/close on it."
".... Okay. Just- Okay... The Drake looks about in confusion, suddenly its mouth frozen open. It makes a gurgling cry of panic, looking now at the party in a rather frightened manner."
To which I, still uncertain of what I can really do, look to @Bbutton and say. "Can I spit in its mouth?"
I'm pretty sure the DM just shook his head sadly, just so done with the absurdity. "Yeah- Just go for it. This drake is already terrified enough. It's mouth won't close and it doesn't know why. It's scared and just came into town looking for food. It's hungry, and now- Now it's being attacked by a group of weirdos. And you're just going to spit in its mouth. Just- Okay."
"Okay. So yeah. I spit in its mouth. It takes 1d4 of poison damage."
"You people are cruel."