second Whitelist application [Denied - Snerus]

[Devin72002]

What is your Minecraft username: Devin72002 How old are you: 14 What country are you from: Ohio, USA Have you read the King's Law, Tome of Citizenship, Official Lore, and the Survival Guides yet: yes
In your own words, how would you define metagaming : Using ooc Knowledge in ic things that your character doesn't know definition of Powergaming: basically making people do what you want ic without there permission like killing there character Do we allow X-Raying mods or X-Ray texture packs on the server: no
Name one of our current Mentors: 223hero7

Tell us about yourself: I'm 14, I love to do Karate though the form of it is called Tang Soo Do I'm an orange striped belt. I'm home schooled and have a lot of fun playing games and I do YouTube. Do you have any examples of your work: no Did anyone refer you? If not, how did you find our server: I was just looking for an rp server About Your Character: name, Devin age:20 appearance: looks like a dirty servant because of his travels and his face is covered. race: Human Written test: Devin is a 20 year old man who travels around to help people. He helps and leaves the town. But he really wants to just find a town to live in. He got bored of just traveling and decided to set in the next town he goes in. Hes been traveling when he was young with his dad and mom just helping people how they could and leave. Devin was confused why they did this and when he was 14 they explained why. They travel to help people then leave so they don't get attention. After 18 years of that Devin decided to go on his own. To help more people so him and his parents could cover more ground and go to the same place twice sense they weren't in a group together. At the next town he hopes to make a new life though no one really new him so he had no fear of being recognized but he is still be cautious of were and when he goes and he covers his face just to make sure no one can recognize him. Devin hopes in this new town his parents are here and they haven't left yet though he knows that they are quick to leave towns. They leave immediately after they help a person no matter what even if a higher up tells them to stop. Though when ever they do that they know risks involved, them getting cashed captured or worse killed. But they are sneaky and are very experienced with blending in with crowds or if necessary hiding, though they have never hid in the time Devin was with them most likely because Devin was not experienced with hiding from people. His parents wanted to keep him safe so they had to run or blend in and even trying to blend in was hard because it was like hiding and Devin had no experience in hiding or blending in with the crowds. When he talks about those times he fells terrible for what he did to his parents even though he knows if they met and he apologized for what he done they would have said it wasn't his fault because he was so young. Devin hopes in this new town to find friends and help anyone in anyway he can though he needs to stay low and avoid attention so no one can recognize him though no one should because he rarely talked to anyone when he was with his parents.

 

[Devin72002]

this is a fix or my original application which if your curious can be found here http://hollowworld.co.uk/threads/whitelist-application-pending-squidziod.40128/#post-682170

 

[Snerus]

Hey there, Devin72002 , after reading over both of your filed applications, I'm afraid I've decided to warrant this one a denial.

While it's certainly an improvement from your previous application, there are still a variety of outstanding issues with this current one.

Perhaps most noticeable is the poor format that the application is presented in. Each question in the application form is expected to be on its own line, instead of as one, massive block of text. While HollowWorld is certainly no academic or business institution, we still ask that applicants display effort in not simply the contents of their text but also in its presentation. Copying and Pasting from the original whitelist application is a sure-fire way to ensure that your application follows our formatting guidelines.

Secondly, while I appreciate that you've modified your test to satisfy my colleague's specifications, it is still rife with grammatical errors. Most notably, this includes an overuse of periods and sentence fragmentation, along with spelling errors. Taking time to edit and personally evaluate your test before submitting it to a mentor is an excellent way to make sure that what you've submitted is up to our standards.

As an end issue, though not terribly glaring, I'm afraid that your powergaming definition would need to be clarified. While it's certainly on the right track, it does not meet our admission standards.

For all the issues listed above, I'd perhaps suggest that you'd have better luck, and a more enjoyable experience seeking out other Minecraft RP servers. Of course, you are certainly free to make another application, and we do very much appreciate your interest in our server.

Thank you for your time, and best of luck.

 

[Devin72002]

is there a wait time to summit another application or could I do it right away?

 

[Snerus]

You are free to submit an application whenever you wish.