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Nwalme Fuvur
- Thread starter blargtheawesome
- Start date
Centurion
Dark Council Elite
That's not his girlfriend
Is that a joke reply to my joke? Because I'm well aware of how complicated the situation is XD
bettemus99
Roleplay keeper
Used to be 
FrostGuardian
Legend
Aren't you special?
Ah, words.
Mmkay, worked in some updates. Most notably how the death of Grief has changed his Waterblessedness.
And why, if I may ask, haven't you written a journal entry about him changing physically?
.. Are they really that interesting t'read?
Really in't that hard. Just simplify it a touch. Nwalme's a touch unable to uphold a very strict sense of honor, but he quite respects those that can. Easier to just put "those who uphold a strict sense of honor" than to list off every honorable char I know of~
Changes
It's interesting, how we change. To go from a compassionate man, filled with good in one's heart but no proper knowledge of how to use the good, nor of what my good would give me in the end. "Boy" is a more proper title there, but no matter.
My hair grows thicker upon the body and the face, my eyes have lightened in shade, and I no longer feel such a need to sit and be content to watch the ocean or the river, to feel the ocean breeze upon myself. A similar if completely and utterly different change has occurred for those blessed by fire, as Basil was. Perhaps the most... strange difference, is that I do not care as much as I once did. I no longer possess the same perceived devotion to Sallana or my past as I once did.
It is.. confusing, worrying. Is that supposed to happen? Will there be some form of divine repercussion, if my mind continues on this path of waning devotion and discipline? It's... a feeling, akin to that of when I had finally matured enough to realize that good does not triumph evil. That.. I feel estranged, in truth. Is this a curse, a blessing? I don't feel trapped.
Despite this uncertainty and, I'll admit to it, fear this.. awakening is quite... relieving. I no longer feel as tormented for leaving Alyshia, but I also no longer feel- as I said- as much devotion to Sallana as I once did. Marcus is still, essentially, my adoptive father but I no longer feel quite as much need to prove my ability.
Only goes to prove my point, I suppose, a curse and a blessing could be either, depending on your perspective.
Smoke, A Humble Priest
bettemus99
Roleplay keeper
*Sits and tries to comfort Alyshia's heart* You're meeaan...
.. He didn't want to break Alyshia's heart. Nor anyone's which is.. what caused.. this.
bettemus99
Roleplay keeper
Well he did. In the worst way he could :I
Morality
I need to stop latching onto people. I need to find a happy medium.There are some things I cannot do, I am physically incapable of. When thus occurs, I find someone to do it for me most of the time or let the problem sit and fester like a bad infection. This is a case of the latter sort. I've read, I've experienced life, I continue living.
I am too proud, I am arrogant. These are two faults that must be removed, utterly. I cannot, will not, have another experience of hating myself for idiocy I have committed. Narcissism is now a sin, I will not revel in my accomplishments in life, for I am insignificant. I am nothing, I am a mouth that can whisper and can shout, and nothing else. I have a hand to write with, feet to carry me places, but that is all. I cannot fight, I cannot rely on others to solve all of my problems for myself.
But I was taught to. When I thought I would be scolded for doing such, instead I was praised. I rely on Arcturus to fulfill my needs, we all depend on something; a carpenter depends on the coin he makes to fulfill the needs of his family. A huntress depends on game for her needs.
... It is a matter that there is the metaphorical black but no white, and truly no real grey. We all depend on something, somewhere. We all cannot live without something. A merchant has his coin, but when you trust no one with something but yourself, is that when you turn inward to find your salvation, your advice and counsel?
Do I trust myself to be right? There may be no wrong, there may in fact be nothing of the sort, but my instincts rarely lie. Do I act without my perceived sense of consciousness, relying merely on a 'gut feeling' and not on a formed, safe personal code- sense of morality?
Arrogance, pride. They will kill me, they are why I am as I am now, a physically broken man. I need to remove those. My scars, the lack of sensation in my left arm, my wooden fingers. They are the reminders, they limit me, I used to worry about what people would think of them. They are nothing.
(There would look to be a definite pause, here. Noticeable in that the writing does not look as rushed nor... arguably feverishly wrote as the rest.)
Nothing is an interesting concept. I have wrote so much, and yet my hypocrisy has shown itself once again in that at the end I claim them to be nothing. Nothing is as simple as 'nothing.'
Morality.
Nwalme Fuvur, "Nothing."
bettemus99
Roleplay keeper
*Screams in succes* HAHA. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee- Indepedance ftw, go team Aly-!
... Well, she was the... not the catalyst, but she did play a role in some surprisingly positive development for him. Hit the philosophy books, and he's started to become... honorable(?).