Medieval & Fantasy Minecraft Roleplaying

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joy01234's Applaction [Declined - Squidziod]

Joe Clark

Villager
1. What is your Minecraft username?
joy01234
2. How old are you?
18

3. What country are you from?
USA

4. Have you read the King's Law, Tome of Citizenship, Official Lore, and the Survival Guides yet?

Yes
5. In your own words, how would you define metagaming and powergaming?
Metagaming is where you take info from outside the game and use it to further yourself in the game
Powergaming is like where you disregard all rules and story to further yourself in the game

6. Do we allow X-Raying mods or X-Ray texture packs on the server?
Nah bro, x-ray mods aren't allowed and x ray packs are technically powergaming
7. Name one of our current Mentors.
Readij

8. Tell us about yourself!
I like rap and classic rap and I have a dog. I like to learn about history and to listen to music wilt gaming. I have a job and school so I can't always be on. I like to spend time with friends, and snow. My favorite game is Darkest Dungeon I favorite game series is Wolfenstein.
9. Do you have any examples of your work?
I like to draw interior of buildings and build them in games, I also like to build things in real life.

10. Did anyone refer you? If not, how did you find our server?
No, I found a link to it on google
About Your Character!

Character Name:
Josef von Schreiberstein

Character Age:
22

Character Race:
Human

Appearance:
Scruffy brown beard, long hair in a ponytail shaved down on the sides, blue eyes, 6'3", about 164lbs, tends to wear goggles that belonged to his father, a long red duster, black pants, and large upper body, and a small iron seax (its a type of sword usef by vikings) a brass crosshilt and a red tanned leather hilt, although well made, it isn't very strong or sharp.
Written Test!
Josef was the youngest son of a wealhy blacksmith, although wealty he was by no means noble. Before Josef was born, the ruling noble declared war on a fair stronger noble. Two of his brothers died in the war, and his only sister died from a serious cold, leaving only his six year old brother. About three years of war the opposing army surrounded his home when he was nearly a year old. While the siege of the castle started and the opposing army attacked, burning the villages, his father told his mother to take Josef and his brothers and flee to the home of his father's, a dwarf named Bjorn. His mother took Josef though a dark, foggy, rocky forest, with blackened barren trees. Josef say yellow eyes a tall, dark, cloaked figures slowly following them. His mother ran though the fog, scared for her life, until she found a small cliff she hid under. While the figures passed she held her breath, when a figure reached out his long burned figers towards her, a grabbed her and Josef and his brother. She they awoke they were surrounded by hooded figures chanting in a language they couldn't idenfy. When Bjorn came out of the thicket, swinging an axe, trying to save the Schreibersteins, it looked like Bjorn would die but he manged to beat them and drive them off. After thebskirmish, Josef's brother had died, although this had little effect on Josef as he was young. Bjorn took Josef and his mother and moved them in with Bjorn in his ironwork shop After learning of the Jose's recent past Bjorn was in udder shock and him and his mothet decided it would be better to not tell him. When Josef was three, his mothered died from an inflection, from her the filth of her home with Josef's father, leaving Bjorn as his only parent. Bjorn to decided to take Josef as his son, since Bjorn's only son was killed by a bear. Bjorn taught Josef the way of the dwarf, always keeping Josef's past, always telling him that his mother was human who died of an infection and he was his real father. Bjorn taught him his art if ironworking, Josef was only ever a novice metal worker never improving substantially, Josef's true passion was inventing. He devolved many things, like a automatic blacksmith hammer, that used a peddle, bellows and a hammer to hit a piece of iron repeatedly. Although most of inventions didn't work, Bjorn still loved to help Josef improve them. When Josef was 17, Josef asked Bjorn about his past but Bjorn lied about his past again, but this time Josef pressed him until Bjorn tripped on his lies and told the truth. Josef, after learning of his past, left and returned to his original home, and attemted to learn about his father but there was no record of his father and his home was converted to an inn, but Josef pressed on trying to learn about his father's final moments. Some say he died defending his home, others say he ran, become a prisoner of war, or even joined the attacking army. After four years of living in his old home Josef received a letter from Bjorn saying he was gravey ill, after mining a mysterios stone. Josef returned to Bjorn. Bjorn with his final moments apologized for lieing all those years, stating he was his real father, Josef denied this. Bjorn l, with his final breath, told Josef to destroy the stone that killed him, Josef agreed. As Bjorn passed Josef looked for the stone and found that it was taken by a thief. Josef has since gone out to seek out the stone and avenge his father, Bjorn. Josef has since be on the road for a year trying to pick up leads, and trying to improve his metal working beond novice.

I apologize for any spelling errors, I worked very hard on the story, I was going to make a short one, but I his carried away :3 Also i never said anything about killing, if you think that that' your mind filling in the blanks between peole disappearing the story :3
I changed it, thus time he didn' fall from nobility, his parents weren' killed maybe (idk even didn' think if his father died) his home wasn' destroyed, and Bjorn was like his Step Father but not formaly.
 
Last edited:

Squidziod

Kid Charlemagne
Mystic
Retired Owner
Squidziod
Squidziod
LegendMystic
Hello, and thank you for applying. I appreciate you patiently waiting for us to get to your application, and after reading through it I can see that you're off to a very good start. However, there are a few things I'd like you to look over before I can accept your application:
  1. Written test contains cliche tropes or characters (fall from nobility, killed parents, destroyed home, surviving a ship sinking, raised by surrogate parents, etc.)
    One or two of these things lightly sprinkled into a story is fine, but when you reach a certain mass of common tropes, your story starts to sound like something from Greek mythos and less of your own story. Tone it down in this department, and you should be good to go!
  2. Your written story is actually a tad short (361/400 words) please extent it.
  3. Skills can not be learned via backstory's above novice level. So your character can't be an "exceptional metal worker"
  4. Only beginning gear is accessible to starting players, so make sure to clarify that his sword is low quality iron, not high quality.
Make the proper amendments to the things above, and I'll take a second look. Once you've done that, please post here in the thread. Thank you!
 

Joe Clark

Villager
C
Hello, and thank you for applying. I appreciate you patiently waiting for us to get to your application, and after reading through it I can see that you're off to a very good start. However, there are a few things I'd like you to look over before I can accept your application:
  1. Written test contains cliche tropes or characters (fall from nobility, killed parents, destroyed home, surviving a ship sinking, raised by surrogate parents, etc.)
    One or two of these things lightly sprinkled into a story is fine, but when you reach a certain mass of common tropes, your story starts to sound like something from Greek mythos and less of your own story. Tone it down in this department, and you should be good to go!
  2. Your written story is actually a tad short (361/400 words) please extent it.
  3. Skills can not be learned via backstory's above novice level. So your character can't be an "exceptional metal worker"
  4. Only beginning gear is accessible to starting players, so make sure to clarify that his sword is low quality iron, not high quality.
Make the proper amendments to the things above, and I'll take a second look. Once you've done that, please post here in the thread. Thank you!
Changed
 

Squidziod

Kid Charlemagne
Mystic
Retired Owner
Squidziod
Squidziod
LegendMystic
Thank you for working to improve your application, it has gotten better. That being said, there are still a few details in your story I'd like you to alter:
  1. Please less death of parents and siblings. I know the point is that he is raised alone by Bjorn, but see if you can get there without the over done family death trope. Maybe he is simply separated, or Bjorn selfishly steals him as a child to raise him as his own. Just an idea, but please tone down the family destruction stuff.
  2. Forgot to mention the strange stone last night. I'd like you either remove it, or understand that it was merely coincidence that Bjorn died after mining it. The reason being: the stone would have to be magic in order to kill him. I suspect that the stone might be uranium or plutonium, but crude ores of either wouldn't be deadly enough to kill anyone (uranium too weak and impure, plutonium too minute in quantities found) and even if you do mean for it to be a radioactive or toxic metal, I would really prefer that it just wasn't there. Like I said, if you make it more of a coincidence kind of thing that happened, where Bjorn didn't really die from the stone, that's just how he thought it happened, that's fine too.
Those two points there will do it. Sorry they're so long, I wanted to be more concise on what I wanted from you so we can get this app finished, and you playing! You're doing good so far, so keep up the good work. Same as last time, just post in the thread here and I'll take another look. Thanks again for being patient, and agreeing to work with me. I very much appreciate it.
 

Squidziod

Kid Charlemagne
Mystic
Retired Owner
Squidziod
Squidziod
LegendMystic
Declined for inactivity. Feel free to re-apply, but please heed the advice posted here. Thank you!
 
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