Lana's Diary

I am Wake

Legend of Altera
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Legend
I_am_Wake
I_am_Wake
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( 03 / 04 / 2020 )


Waterday, 3rd of Truebirth, 2306


A spare book from Albus, I questioned to what purpose this book can hold. Stereotypically, I dared to keep a journal or diary. My life is far from one of adventure, though I am surrounded by those better than me. It is not for a lack of effort; a lack of skill is more accurate. I am no swordswoman. I am not religious. I've no purpose to travel outside academic study or to meet friends. Whilst my family has a lineage of subterfuge and mystery, I am as honest as the sun itself.

I am simple.

Simple is good, I tell myself. Lack of danger, comfortable living without sudden turmoil to kick me out of bed every morning. Not that I actually.. HAVE a bed yet. Upon arrival at Frostwarts, headmaster Kublai has given me much happiness. He compliments my ambition and wishes equality of knowledge by sharing understanding to the world. He has given me a home behind Frostwarts, a small cabin to warm against the outside cold. It does not yet have a bed, nor a desk for me to write. Yet everything I require is within Frostwarts. Paper, writing equipment, alcohol... Halbed is beyond the walls for food. Life is comfortable, albeit cold and slightly lonely.

In time, I hope to graduate from Frostwarts. For now, this is my purpose. If I can prove myself to the Realm that I am a qualified scholar, they may take me seriously in any application of study. I do not wish to repeat the mistakes I made thirteen years ago. I do not wish to be reduced to bankruptcy once more. Thirteen years at sea as a sailor was not my dream occupation. I sometimes simply dream of becoming rich.

For now, I have much to write and read. Hopefully, this is the start of a kind era for me. The start of a story? Hopefully a comedy. I would hate to be a dull footnote for future generations.
 

I am Wake

Legend of Altera
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Legend
I_am_Wake
I_am_Wake
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( 06/04/2020 )


Blessday, 6th of Truebirth, 2306


An auction was held in Halbed on the 4th. Headmaster Kublai paid me two-thousand radiants for publishing my books on the Calendar and Time. Combine this with what I made voyaging the vast oceans, I desired myself an emerald necklace for sale. Much to my awe, Headmaster Kublai purchased as a gift to me the next item after: two emerald earrings. To state my shock and gratitude, I am beyond words. "Lets make a girl happy!" he yelled to the entire auction. There
was easily thirty people there. Headmaster Kublai is kind, forward and welcoming Dwarf. He had recently told me his tale as to why he created Frostwarts, relating to the scholar Gromm whom I named myself after. If Kaatrina had not yet written a biography of him, I was plotting to after such story.

Frostwarts is everything I dreamed of. Hidden in all those books are details of everything. If I graduate too soon, I shall be saddened I had not spent more time here.

Still no bed.

Yesterday, I was stressed. In hindsight, I believe I angered Kublai. Writing a study of Corruption and creating a theory as to a new type of magical energy that Corruption radiates was no simple task. Thankfully, a new friend, Rook Corvus, took me for a walk and drink to clear my mind. He visits often, almost every day from a place named Blackrush Crossing. Strangely, I have yet to see him pick up a book. Odd. He and I seem very alike in background, albeit not very similar at all in lifestyle. He is a hunter: I a scholar. Unlikely friends, yet he values our friendship highly. I believe I do too. I do not feel so... Lonely anymore.

I dar[e] not leave Frostwarts without company. Halbed, ever since I have arrived, has rumours circulating of homeless dying without any injury. Certainly: it is cold. Yet I feel an odd distrust towards the deaths.
Thus: I will not leave Frostwarts at night.
 

I am Wake

Legend of Altera
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Legend
I_am_Wake
I_am_Wake
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( 09/04/2020 )

Sunderday, 9th of Truebirth, 2306


Magical energy swirls around us in a confusing state of affairs. The rain has not ended in the south, thus the blizzards worsen here in the north. In response to my last entry, I was correct. The homeless of Halbed were not dying due to weather, but due to an illness caused by Evisral (thank you Lady Milah) Energy. Entrusted to keep it a secret by Prince Ventare, I am soon aiding in the attempt to locate the cursed tome which this plague originates.

Still no bed.
I have moved into the dorms for warmth. The cabin is far too cold.

In this blizzard, I fear for what my life will become once this chapter of my life ends. Every new person I meet has their life seemingly organized, prepared and planned. They have no need to meet new people. They have everything they need. Even the children, such as Marceau, are extrodinarily content. This is helped by their willingness to travel far distances in a matter of hours, always knowing what or whom they seek.
I fear... should I ever graduate from Frostwarts... I have nowhere to go. No friends to meet. No fantastical divine directive or heroic quest to undertake.
This fear of being alone consumes my mind.

In recent days, I have taken to distracting myself from the illness and my fears by playing a game called DarkShine with Headmaster Kublai. After only three games, I have beaten him once. I hope to master this game.

̶I̶ ̶d̶o̶ ̶m̶i̶s̶s̶ ̶R̶o̶o̶k̶
Due to the blizzard, Rook visits less. Last I heard from him, he sent a letter stating Blackrush Crossing was flooding. I hope the Realm can fair against these impossibly unnatural storms.
 

I am Wake

Legend of Altera
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Legend
I_am_Wake
I_am_Wake
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( 13/04/2020 )

Blessday, 13th of Truebirth, PC 2306


Recently, I have uncovered a few discoveries that seem mundane to the normal person. Correct nouns of the different types of magical energy from Lady Milah, for example- or figuring out the riddle to the giant blue boot outside Frostwarts. All this knowledge pales in comparison to the cult of strange mages infesting Halbed. They are the cause for these recent 'missing organ' deaths. It seems they draw magical energy without having been Sparked from an unknown source, chanting and reading an unknown language. It frightens me to the core: not knowing the threat.

Still no bed.

The storms have stopped today. It felt liberating to go outside again without shivering. The possibility of travel is open to me again. I have long awaited to visit Kam.

Headmaster Kublai, as of late, has been quite aggressive. Not hostile, however. My hestitations and lack of skills anger him. He believes in me whilst I do not quite believe in myself. Just as Rahm did, he desires me to be more confident, stating I have a gift not many others possess. He believes my skills in scholarship rival that of his old friend Gromm the First Book-Hunter himself. This was overwhelming to hear. To compare me to the legend? I pale in comparison.

Yesterday, Prince Ventare visited the library shortly after Lady Milah. They are both such fantastic people. Both nobles of Sangria, both heavily involved in magic (albeit Ven Divine), both lives full of wonder. With both, I had such wonderful conversations with. Ventare and I theorized on souls, the source of power to the Gods... whilst Milah spoke to me on a more personal level: stating I need not prove myself to anyone. I normally do write stories in this Diary. I aim not to write my life story, only my thoughts and feelings. Yet.. they both made me extremely happy. I hope to see more of them.
 

I am Wake

Legend of Altera
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Legend
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I_am_Wake
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( 18/04/2020 )


Fireday, 18th of Truebirth, 2306


Over the last week, I have been frantically learning about magic. In particular, the Magical Energies that exist within our Realms. As of writing this, I believe I have finished my book. Metaphysics II has been a fantastical journey for me to write. I traveled to Blackrush and Arget Isles, meeting a group of mages whom I traveled to and whom
traveled to me. They are all facinating people. Each one of them gave me insight, knowledge. Each one did so freely without wanting. The desire to tell their experiences without fear of it being used against them... it was exhilarating. I look forward to giving Kublai this book.

Soon, after re-editing Metaphyics V and perhaps writing a book on Enchanting, I may sell these books personally. It will certainly help with income.

Might buy a bed.

Aside from meeting wonderful people, I have made new friends. No longer do I feel... lonely. Woven is one such, a strange woman who speaks in riddles. I enjoy our wordplay, although I will never admit it. Branko: a quiet Vyre that visits. Lady Milah, an enigmatic social butterfly. I today met the Magus of Animancy, Gerard McIvy. He is extremely kind and generous in the knowledge he bought to me here at Frostwarts. I hope he visits again. I finally met Kethron: the legendary scholar and Enchanter. My mind has been overloaded with such dazzling knowledge! Coming to Frostwarts was the best decision I ever made.

I will write about Rook in time, although I fear he may read this diary eventually... trying to uncover any secret facts about me. Sorry Rook. As of today, we agreed to both go on a date together. Perhaps a relationship is what I need to inspire myself for my projects. Seems to be a working motivator thus far.
I write it so... coldly. Ink is dry, as can be emotion in writing. In reality, I am a firework of emotion currently.
 

I am Wake

Legend of Altera
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Legend
I_am_Wake
I_am_Wake
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( 22/04/2020 )


Thronesday, 22nd of Truebirth, 2306


Yesterday was my birthday. And I was almost killed. I know not truly what the Cognitive Realm holds and why we Alterans care so much about these creatures and lesser Gods. I believe I am the only person in this Realm that truly does not wish to pry.
Yet something from that Realm tried to kill me yesterday. It grabbed me by the hair and tried to throw me off the astronomy tower.
If Rook had not have been there...

I am staying in Blackrush Crossing for a few days.

It is nice to sleep in a double bed.
 
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I am Wake

Legend of Altera
Crafter
Legend
I_am_Wake
I_am_Wake
Crafter
( 30/04/2020 )


Sunderday, 30th of Truebirth, 2306


My mind wanders in recent days upon what I want. Without certainty, without clarity: I know not what I want. Confidence surely lacking, albeit growing, I am but a minor character to others stories.
This I know I do not want.
Kublai pushed me towards a sort of... destiny. Claiming the school itself "chose" me to have the Frostwarted Boots after riddle solving. Since the boots themselves are not enchanted as I first believed and are, in fact, magical in nature-- fully unique-- who am I to doubt him? The school chose me to better myself. Now I know I must.

In recent days, I finished studying herbology and am now studying alchemy. Difficult and challenging, it requires patience. Whilst learning, I have been planning on traveling. Hoping to travel all the Eastern Continent, studying the various cities and cultures. Training for such a venture is tiresome. Ironwood trains me like a levy. Sweat drips from my head, melting the snow below. My bones ache. They will be stronger. I will be stronger.

Still no bed.

Rook and I were in a relationship. Briefly. It lasted... just over a week. Conflicting as it was, he... is half the man I would love. However, his other half was dark, brooding and depressing. I cannot love half a man. These emotions plague my mind. I take out the frustration through training.

If I can defend myself after this training... I can travel without fear. Fear keeps me sealed away up here in Halbed, behind these walls. Fear of the unknown. Not knowing myself, not knowing what lays beyond or who I will be if I discover it. Only once I know I can defend myself will I leave for this journey.
My imagination of this travel excites me.

Who will I become?
 

I am Wake

Legend of Altera
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Legend
I_am_Wake
I_am_Wake
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( 04/05/2020 )



Blessday, 4th of Sporebloom, 2306


I can hardly focus on work: more people visit Frostwarts frequently. Kethron's notes are difficult to read through- though rich in knowledge. The difficulty with frequent visitors is their unpredictability. Alone, I feel safe. With others- especially those with violent mood swings- there is a constant presence of danger. Being on-hand medical staff was not quite what I imagined my role would be here.

Soon, I will be traveling. Prince Ventare I commissioned to forge my blade. Rook I am having make my armour. Once I have both: nothing anchors me any longer. With letters sent already to the nearest three rulers (to which Queen Katherine replied immediately, to my amazement and excitement), it will not be long before I set off. I fear my safety on this trip. Yet with confidence and forced bravery, with determination to study, I will do this. I will do this.

Got bed: gave it away.

Recent theme of conversation between almost everyone I converse with is self-reflection. From helpless romantic desire to distant dreams of having a family... I have been reflecting much on what I want. Simplicity itself; I dream of being famous. I dream of people across the lands calling me to their cities to teach their children. When a crisis takes place, I would adore for people to come and seek me to join them: guard me as I read ancient murals.
Such would be the dream of a simple scholar in a red dress.

Today Frostwarts is to excavate the ice beneath. Kublai miraculously found a ship log dating back to the Prosperity Era: 68 years before the Age of Plagues. To find more of this book would be of great aid to historical studies... and magical. How a captain's log from Altera I somehow arrived on Altera IV is beyond me.
I am excited to finding out.

It is now living with people for once.
Sofia and Leonce are good company.
 

I am Wake

Legend of Altera
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Legend
I_am_Wake
I_am_Wake
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(( 08/05/2020 ))



Waterday, 8th of Sporebloom, 2306


Prince Ventare forged me my blade: The Iron Rose. Rook crafted me the leather armour that will shield me. I feel intense strength when wearing both, unlike anything I have felt before. This must be what everyone else feels like before venturing into the unknown to combat threats such as Qlippoth.
I do not wear this to be like everyone else. I am simply fearful of being mauled by a bear traveling south.

This is exciting. On the 10th, I will be on a boat, circling a few miles west along the Frozen Coast to Khárûz Korum... an exciting first step towards circling the entire Eastern Continent, seeing it all by foot and boat. Almost everything is packed away. My friends have been terribly supportive of this. Nobody has ever said "Lana, you cannot do this" or "you foolish girl" that. They all believe in me, simply on the basis they consider me 'intelligent.'
The reality is, I am not intelligent. I am knowledgeable. With all this vast wealth of information, I can write endless books and help inform others of things they may not know. Yet I often make lapses in logic due to emotion.
This is perhaps why my love life is so ... unfortunate.

I know not what will become of this journey. Will it simply be another series of books that people will put on their shelves? Or will these experiences shape me? Will the knowledge enlighten me? What will happen to me during this trip, if anything? Am I more fearful or excited? I know nothing: yet expect everything to happen!
What cruel exhilaration torments me so.

Been sleeping in the dorms. Pink bed. Disgusting. I dislike pink.

Why am I such a hopeless romantic? Why do I seek romance in one who may not be capable of ever wanting such things? My mind swirls in desire: yet I must be logical. This cannot work.. can it?
 

I am Wake

Legend of Altera
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Legend
I_am_Wake
I_am_Wake
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( 16/05/2020 )


Waterday, 15th of Sporebloom, 2306


Upside-down Castle. Crashed airship, the Stormbringer. The First Dwarves: Zustid and Babin. Sacred Wood of Theodra in Stoltfar. The ruined cathedral of Ignis. The many wonders of the Eastern Continent I have seen thus far... it gives me great joy to have seen these sights with my own eyes. Perhaps once this journey has concluded, I will write a book called "the Wonders of the Eastern Continent" or so such.

Mira and I are together. Her company on this journey has changed me, I feel. A promise is a promise, dear diary. My feelings shall not be written here, for I am no child hiding this book under my pillow. My thoughts, however, linger on her: for that is what love does.

There is little to write here: I am currently recording the sights and cultures I encounter within a book series I am writing called "Around the Continent." Once I finish the chapter on Queensport after this diary entry, I will have written two books already. Perhaps by the end of this journey, I will have written ten or more volumes. I know not how Kublai will react to this. I simply know that my mind has been widened by studying the cultures along the frozen coast and the Kaltstaat thus far.

The beds I have slept in... fucking glorious.

I will be returning to Queensport after this journey. King Asher wishes me to write a book: "The Annuals of History of House Kane." Perhaps I remembered the name wrong. Regardless: it is a great honour to be wanted in writing for the Kaltstaat royalty. My mind races in excitement to having a purpose after this journey. My mind rejoices at the thought of being part of a royal court.
To be wanted: to be recognised.

I am simple.
Such things is what I seek.
 

I am Wake

Legend of Altera
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Legend
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I_am_Wake
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( 28/05/2020 )

Sunderday, 28th of Sporebloom, 2306


Life is good.

Ruined castle of Thorne, miles of farmland from an Godly perch. Temple of Saint Charles. The Rift between our Realm and one of the Nether Realms. Markets of Astrakhan, thousand hands reaching out. Endless villages: thriving and dead both. The Athenaeum of The Compendium, mountains of tomes. Met a real Hawklight. Read the diary of the Old Bear- the Godslayer- himself. Today I sit in the halls of Murkztob, welcome by my old friend, the Queen of Earthspawn, to freely wander.

This journey is a lucid dream in which I study enough to scorch my mind. Every culture: every history. Kublai was right: this journey has changed me. I feel enlightened now: embraced by Kings, welcomed as a friend to all manner of wooden tables to drink various drinks I never knew existed.
All whilst in the company of a true love, one that protects and anchors me to reality and purpose.

One that does not sleep in a bed: thus, still no bed.

I am only halfway through my journey. Yet I yearn to study the places I have visited thus far with concise eyes. Many books unwritten, calling out to me like Jishrim's madness to be founded into existence.
 

I am Wake

Legend of Altera
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Legend
I_am_Wake
I_am_Wake
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(08/06/2020)


Blessday, 8th of Lightshine, 2306


Today I stood before my old home here in Storm's Landing. Mid-level house, hidden basement and small loft. I had such grand plans when I was eighteen to steal the entire Compendium. Back then, things were different. Without Frostwarts, the scholarly world would not look so appealing to everyone. Back then, I struggled to find work. Now there is no need to steal every book in The Compendium's Athenaeum. It is all so readily available.

I am not a bad person.

Where there is a spark of desire in one's heart, albeit for love, the Gods or even dark pleasure itself: people do ghastly things. Does this make them evil for wishing upon their hearts content? I was willing to start detrimental activities with purpose to kickstart a scholar uprising. No longer do I need to. All those plans happened from lonely thoughts in a lonesome small house in Storm's Landing. No longer am I alone. No longer am I wanting of ill.

Yet my heart longs for more.
It is only Human: to desire that which I do not yet possess.

Blessed. Mages. Vyres. Holders of artifacts... they carry with them a validity of their existence: a protection and power. If Silas was alive, I would perhaps be Blessed myself. Yet Silas is dead- with him, lost reams of lonesome scholars. In his place stands a mirror, a stranger, whispering "I know things you do not" from behind a mask. I am not a bad person. Visage does not appeal to I. In what reality would I deceive those whom shield me from poverty?

There is another option now. Should I risk it?
Like a soldier, do I fall in line and leave myself exposed to the reality I am not a pawn- for I was never on the chessboard?


The Realm in my palm. That is what my heart said.
 

I am Wake

Legend of Altera
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Legend
I_am_Wake
I_am_Wake
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(18/06/2020)



Sunderday, 18th of Lightshine, 2306


Yesterday, I arrived back at Frostwarts. It took forty days to travel the entire Eastern Continent. I feel proud: this is mine and Mira's own achievement. None can take that from us.

Furthermore, yesterday, on Thronesday the 17th of Lightshine, I graduated as a Superior Snorkaflux: a true scholar. When I wrote my first entry in this diary on the 3rd of Truebirth, I stated I hope to graduate. Now that I have done so, I feel I have lost my goal. Mira tells me I should simply continue being the "greatest scholar in Altera."

She did not like it when I told her she was my purpose.

In fact, she now avoids sleeping with me. What am I to do? Lie to her? I detest lies. One can get through life and achieve any goal without uttering a single lie. I love Mira. My muse: the one whom I think of for inspiration when I put ink to paper. Nothing truly replaces her.

There is much work to be done in the next few weeks. As an official scholar now, I feel freedom to go anywhere and write for the rulers. This is my achievement. None can take that from me.

Yet is that all I am to do in life?
Serve? Write for no reward?
As Cyrus said: "record keeping for the sake of record keeping?"

I need new purpose.
 

I am Wake

Legend of Altera
Crafter
Legend
I_am_Wake
I_am_Wake
Crafter
(30/06/2020)



Townsday, 30th of Lightshine, 2306


Today, I shall create history.
Long have I read the achievements of others. Long has fate called me, yet timid was I to tempt. Dare I bring about ire and jealousy, to show what possible when determination filled with purpose grasps one's mind so greatly?
Yes. I dare. And I approach destiny.
For none the Gods know me, nor mortal men nor Figment could ever appreciate a simple scholar beyond the soupçon of knowledge and pittance.

Whilst my Mira sits for her crimes unknown in reasoning to me within Queensport to trial at Aegis by strangers preaching justice, my heart aches and my mind fractures. To know certain my own inability to aid and await silently without partisanship, I accept defeat. All my bones and tears scream 'why?' In response, I hear only the distant morning waves and birds sing.
None may know of this pain, for they are blind to heart's desire.

Today, I shall create history. Never alone could anyone accomplish what many deem impossible. My strength lay in others. Did all forget how we defeat each foe, time and time again? Today, when the sun lowers and the sky purple, the Wardens of Radiant will form. My purpose revealed; a finality.

Will divines smile upon me? Will men and women remember this day? Uncertaintly and fear grips me with the grief of endearment. It gathers in my mind, unable to break free. When this step is made, simplicity is forever lost.

Sacrifice for Altera. Our Altera.
 
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