... I also wish to say something else.
we have taken this thread to discuss the events surrounding Michcat's demotion, the precedent for this event, the reasons for demoting Michcat, and possible actions to take in the future.
the first post in this thread is an apology on Michcat's part to anyone she may have wronged so badly they had to complain about her to the staff. I don't think we've really bothered to read and fully listen to it. we're all posting huge swaths of text, but Michcat's letter to the server appears to be a case of tl;dr.
I have been told I offended, wronged, and irrationally treated many members of this community. I have been cruel and this negative attitude is no longer worth the damage it does to the Server, to HollowWorld. I have been a presence so terrifying it dissuades any from speaking out or speaking to me in any form that is not kind and polite, in fear of actions I in actuality cannot do. And that is why I was demoted.
I was told there wasn't any specific incidents, or logs, or investigation. I was crying; I felt degraded being treated as I was in that conversation. I was furious; I can't fix a problem I wasn't aware of- But that lack of awareness is another one of my many shortcomings. A shortcoming that lead me to the deserved outcome, it seems. I do not contend that.
[...]
I may not quite understand whats going on, but I wish to apologize regardless. Apologize for- if possible- everything. It is also one of my wants to make amends, again if possible.
...
It has been hard to write this and it hurts to write this. It doesn't help that I have never been good at any sort of writing. It hurts feeling that every kind greeting and presumed smile from the OOC chat is possibly someone who loathes and hates my person and what I have done, that I have unjustifiably created an environment in which speaking out- and action I endeavor to encourage- is silenced. It hurts to be told I have done that and hurts that I am so blind I cannot see it. It hurts to be downspoken to and treated inhumanely by my peers, and hurts to believe I deserve that treatment. It hurts to be confused and it hurts to be scared. From this is my hope to ensure it never happens again- not for my hurt, but for the hurt of others- hurt I have apparently inflicted, an action I despise having (even 'having apparently') done.
But I should take this away from myself and more on the problem and issues that have lead to this. It is as if I am stuck. If I could focus more on 'the problem' I would, but thus far there isn't any solid structure I can address or work off of, to my knowledge. I endeavor to do the best I can with what I have, yet I feel as if I cannot properly communicate these problems and issues, as if I don't have the information to compile and shape into a neatly worded paragraph. I'm trying to express all my knowledge as plainly and cleanly as I possibly can... And that starts with how I most privately experienced what happened. And that is why I spoke so far mostly of my own experience, not only to potentially shed the most light, but in hopes that my own integrity can be plainly and clearly seen.
...What happens now?
I intend to hold myself professionally in this community, in hopes to cut back on personal reactions. It is not my intent to lose on kindness, but gain in thoughtfulness.
I will do my best to move on from any hurt I have felt from this matter, as I cannot affect any other as truly as myself.
I hope to make amends as best I may.
I am being held to no longer make such mistakes in ignorance,
and I shall try to make things better. Make it right.
To the Community as a whole; I can only say I never held ill intent. I have love for this community, and I only wish to see it prosper. The crimes I must have done nonewithstanding, I can only hope it is known there has only really ever been good will.
To those I Wronged and Offended; I'm truely, honourably sorry- if I can still claim to honour in your eyes. I wish to make amends.
To the Fellow Staff Team; It really is my hope to be called out on actions unseemly or baseless. And it is my wish these words are kept in mind.
To my peers within the Management; I thank you for the opportunity to try to fix this mess. The faith that I might be able to means worlds to me.
This is my admittance of guilt, of responsibility- For I am truely guilty in my lack of sight, in not seeing those I have presumably so greatly offended and so baselessly wronged; for in these actions there was no malice and thus they were born of stupidity - and I am ultimately responsible for my own idiocy and naivety.
This is my asking for forgiveness- not for past actions, but for my current ignorance, and my current confusion on what I did and who I did not do right by- for I still do not understand whom was affected or what was done; although I must stress I do not discredit those who said I did something so horrible- it is my own aforementioned ignorance at fault. I can only hope for forgiveness and amends.
And this is my apology.
For despite not knowing and despite how it is apparently impossible to inform me;
I still hurt for whatever slight and cruelty I imparted. I hurt for those I wronged.
I'm sorry
So sorry.
Mich
... I really have nothing to say that would add to that.
except that I think we should, perhaps, read these words, and understand what they mean.
I feel the people who blindly defended Mich missed the point of this thread.
I... do not feel it would be an opportune moment to demote her, however.
the Return campaign has finished, yes, but the playerbase is still working off of the events in that campaign.
players are still summoning gods. some gods are yet corrupted.
there are two prophecies that have not yet been fulfilled: the Sun Prophecy, presumably speaking of Harateth's return,
and the Heart Prophecy, speaking of coming conflict between Vermella and Sallana.
for that matter, Vermella's status as a god has yet to be fully decided,
not to mention the plans that may or may not have been made to try and bring Lycanria back to Altera.
demoting Mich... might disrupt those plans. and if she feels she is capable of making amends while still holding this kind of guilt for her actions,
well. we could trust her, or we could not, I suppose.
I say we can trust her. feel free to disagree with this post if you think otherwise.
Edit: actually...
I apologize. one other thing.
the long post I made previously in this thread was mainly a confession of sorts to negative feelings I had experienced on this server. feelings of being pushed aside, like my character and my contributions did not matter.
in retrospect, my personal feelings happen to match the personal feelings that others have, apparently, complained about. I do not know what happened to change my standing on this server that now my contributions are recognized, but it seems the issue of having all players feel included and influential to this server is still a major problem.
Michcat endeavors to be more inclusive of all players, and I will try my hardest to do the same, and allow newer players a chance to make a meaningful contribution. I do not want my own success to be a roadblock preventing other players from enjoying themselves. I don't want anyone to feel the same feelings as those that caused me to leave this server.