Medieval & Fantasy Minecraft Roleplaying

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Descriptive Writing

Naelwyn

Non sum qualis eram
Just something that came up on skype and I figured, hey, might as well share.

[Naelwyn] It's fun to describe a scene using many senses.
[Naelwyn] I always like using snowy scenes but sometimes they don't translate well to /people that don't get any [Censored Expletive]./
[Sally]: *leans in, ready to learns*
[Sally]: xD hahaha
[Sally]: I know that snow makes a fun crunchy noise when it's dry-
[Sally]: ... technically dry
[Naelwyn] Hmm, let me try a 30-second-throw-together
[Mich]: hue-
[Mich]: oh my
[Mich]: I heard him furiously typing
[Sally]: hahaha xD
[Mich]: And immediately checked this chat
[Naelwyn]: The climbing cleats dig into the snow, hitting rock as the tired mountaineer took his final step onto the plateau, crunching, clicking against the stone, gripping. The wind whipped hail and ice, and to his skin it felt like hot razors, pinning his eyes into a squint.
[Sally]: D: *Automatic admiration*
[Naelwyn]: The sun shone down in narrow cracks in a faded grey sky, alighting the open cave mouth for which he came, beams of sun dancing through thick, dripping stalagtites and stalagmites of ice, reflecting and bouncing like a merry child.
[Mich]: ...
[Mich]: ;-;
[Naelwyn]: The crisp, burning wind smelled heavily of pine and /wet/, as he trudged forward more steps to enter the cave mouth, wind howling like a monstrous tempest, or a dark, malevolent beast at the cave mouth, nipping at his heels.
[Naelwyn]: He struck his torch on the crystalline, icy wall of the cave, embers sparking to life, igniting, a soft amber light and warmth enveloping him, and he took another ginger, crackling step further into the recess.
[Naelwyn]: -fin

Sight, Sound, Taste, Smell, Feel~


On the topic of conservation of detail:

Nael: If I describe a room like I'm about to, what comes across as suspicious:
Nael: The moldy rough hewn stone walls sit blank in the wet darkness. A bed, three bookshelves, an armor rack, and a chest adorn the room. A rich, silk carpet, emboidered with golden lions and vines trailed around the edges, sits in the middle of the room, lit by a chandelier set in the ceiling.

Mich: the carpet?
Nael: ^
Sally: yeah-
Nael: Bingo
Sally: it's got the most detail xD
Nael: There's a trapdoor under the carpet in this scenario
Mich: xD
Sally: Ahh~
Nael: First time running it, players beeline for the carpet
Mich: Its /new/
Nael: There are two ways around it -

One, the room description becomes:

The walls of the room are rough-hewn stone. A bed, three bookshelves, an armor rack, and a chest adorn the room. A red carpet spans the room, lit by a chandelier set in the ceiling.

And then giving detail if individual things are inspected -
(This is the ideal form for Tabletop - minor details given, majors left to be revealed - like I use for HW)
(The first form is used for writing, you want the reader to focus on something, so you describe.)
(The /last/ forma is scenery porn - you [Forum Inappropriate Innuendo] the descriptions, essentially over-describing /everything/)
(It works, /sometimes/, but if overdone just tends to drone oooon.)
Scenery porn is best when one can /draw/ it, it's much less tiresome in a visual media

sample-38cda206ff81e9046c3dbe33217b5de8.jpg

^ Say I try and describe the above verbally - it will take several pages and only appeal to a very narrow audience
...Heck, I feel like adding this to a tutorial post

Mich: Oo la laaa--
 
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K9

Triangles are my favourite shape
Crafter
Retired Staff
K9_Diarmuid
K9_Diarmuid
Crafter
A very handy tip for new writers (one which my English teacher gives to anyone who is new to writing short stories) is to follow a quick format.

Person enter.
Describe face.
Person does something.
Person interacts with clothing, then reacts to their surroundings/weather.

It's pretty simple, pretty bland, but it's an almost foolproof opening. I really like this concept on a tutorial on descriptive writing and hope it's something you continue on with. Perhaps using a concept of 'dead words' and a more lively version(s) of these words.

Example:


Dead Words/Lively Words.
Said /Screamed out, cried out, murmured, muttered
Walked/ Strolled, limped, bounced, dashed.​


That's just my two cents, really like this idea, mind you.

-K9
 
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