Kierkegaard
I think I might like it here
Chapter 1: Living Forward
Life must be lived forward and understood backward. That was a line my mother used to give me on the farm. It comes from some author that I know little of. Apparently I am named after him. She always told me this line whenever I was afraid. If the next step seemd impossible, or worse took away some sense of security I was holding on to. The first time I remember her speaking those words to me was when I was six. She'd asked for my help to hitch the mule to the plow so we could begin tilling the soil for sowing. The beast of burden seemed to me a monstrosity that could take away my life with an accidental jerk. It probably could have too. I don't much recall what happened afer that. Though, I'm sure the daunting task was accomplished.
The last time I'd heard that famous phrase of my mothers was when I uttered it to her and my father as I left the house. This parting was a permenant one, and I had little to call my own. A staff, some clothes, a few seeds, and a sack. Not even a good pair of sandals. Their hearts were broken at my departure, but we all knew that I had to go. Too long had I lived under the protective shadow they had provided me with. My twenty fifth birthday had just passed, and living with them for this long was no longer merely flirting with shame, it was shameful.
But I was leaving safety. I knew not what awaited me. Nor did I know if this desicion was the right one to make!
Life must be lived forward and understood backward...
This was my first step away from security, this was my first step away from control. The world was mine to wander and wonder. I had relinquished control to be an explorer, whether that was good or bad is still be understood. But just as one cannot choose their passion, nor can one choose to be struck by beauty, I could not choose whether or not to explore the world. I could only open myself up to the option of it. Yes, the relinquish of control, of security, of comfort... it was not a choice. I was swept up by wonder, and now could only ride the tide it took me on.
There was another saying my parents told me until the day I left. This one came from my father. He would say, "Watch your feet when you leave the house son. If you don't mind them you never know where the road might take you."
Funny, he was so afraid of being taken up by passion.
As I pass out of distance of my parents house, I can't help but begin to try and understand those things I was leaving behind me. And I couldn't help but wonder at those things in front of me.
Life must be lived forward and understood backward. That was a line my mother used to give me on the farm. It comes from some author that I know little of. Apparently I am named after him. She always told me this line whenever I was afraid. If the next step seemd impossible, or worse took away some sense of security I was holding on to. The first time I remember her speaking those words to me was when I was six. She'd asked for my help to hitch the mule to the plow so we could begin tilling the soil for sowing. The beast of burden seemed to me a monstrosity that could take away my life with an accidental jerk. It probably could have too. I don't much recall what happened afer that. Though, I'm sure the daunting task was accomplished.
The last time I'd heard that famous phrase of my mothers was when I uttered it to her and my father as I left the house. This parting was a permenant one, and I had little to call my own. A staff, some clothes, a few seeds, and a sack. Not even a good pair of sandals. Their hearts were broken at my departure, but we all knew that I had to go. Too long had I lived under the protective shadow they had provided me with. My twenty fifth birthday had just passed, and living with them for this long was no longer merely flirting with shame, it was shameful.
But I was leaving safety. I knew not what awaited me. Nor did I know if this desicion was the right one to make!
Life must be lived forward and understood backward...
This was my first step away from security, this was my first step away from control. The world was mine to wander and wonder. I had relinquished control to be an explorer, whether that was good or bad is still be understood. But just as one cannot choose their passion, nor can one choose to be struck by beauty, I could not choose whether or not to explore the world. I could only open myself up to the option of it. Yes, the relinquish of control, of security, of comfort... it was not a choice. I was swept up by wonder, and now could only ride the tide it took me on.
There was another saying my parents told me until the day I left. This one came from my father. He would say, "Watch your feet when you leave the house son. If you don't mind them you never know where the road might take you."
Funny, he was so afraid of being taken up by passion.
As I pass out of distance of my parents house, I can't help but begin to try and understand those things I was leaving behind me. And I couldn't help but wonder at those things in front of me.