Michcat
i'm the wench if you're the cake ;)
Surfacing from the calm of meditation was not unlike wiping thick oil from my thoughts. As if I had been suspended, drifting, in a silent sea of magic and ichor, drinking in the countless things it tells me.
And when I broke free, a cacophony awaited me - No longer was it slow, quiet, and peace. I pressed my hands, my palms, to my eyes, trying to drown out the harsh half-light that stung nonethelesser. Trying to ignore the thrumming of those near me - The way they shuddered as they breathed. The life pulsing through their flesh. The grinding of their bones. Most of all, I was trying to ignore the racing in my own mind.
Think, Tzemik.
I begin to write. What I saw - The voices, the shapes, the once-people, the not-people caught in a place with no up or down. What had not yet changed - eddies of magic twisting as they should be and dormant beasts slumbering where they should be. What had.
Unbidden, my thoughts came. With them, ire. Rage, at those who dared harm the dwindling figures I clutched to for my drive - for my purpose. How dare they- How dare they.
Evelyn..? Ashna?!
Nwalme, Nylarii-...
Dead? Dying? I needed answers, and they would not come soon. There was danger, and I could not idle. I could not stay and figure the mysteries. Not now.
Revenge would be so simple. It would be so sweet. The fury bubbled inside of me, heating beneath the bones of my chest, sending bursts of energy to the tips of my fingers. Once, I would have freely released my violent wishes on those that irked me. I would have removed these unseen enemies from where they dared hurt my loved ones, in sweeps of action that left me wondering what I really protected. What parts of me I might have lost. It didn't matter, then - For I had nothing important left to lose.
Even in the midst of my deliberations, I saw her. And I remembered the calm I needed more than any vengeance. She still needs me. How could I live with myself, if I, her support, drifted?
And with a deep breath, I centered my purpose.
And when I broke free, a cacophony awaited me - No longer was it slow, quiet, and peace. I pressed my hands, my palms, to my eyes, trying to drown out the harsh half-light that stung nonethelesser. Trying to ignore the thrumming of those near me - The way they shuddered as they breathed. The life pulsing through their flesh. The grinding of their bones. Most of all, I was trying to ignore the racing in my own mind.
Desires? Strategy? Fears? Anger.
Useless. I won't get any work done idling like this. Stagnating like this. Get my hands busy. Think, multitask, divide my attention; Better to be doing than stuck wishing I had. Right? Right.
Think, Tzemik.
I begin to write. What I saw - The voices, the shapes, the once-people, the not-people caught in a place with no up or down. What had not yet changed - eddies of magic twisting as they should be and dormant beasts slumbering where they should be. What had.
Unbidden, my thoughts came. With them, ire. Rage, at those who dared harm the dwindling figures I clutched to for my drive - for my purpose. How dare they- How dare they.
Evelyn..? Ashna?!
Nwalme, Nylarii-...
Dead? Dying? I needed answers, and they would not come soon. There was danger, and I could not idle. I could not stay and figure the mysteries. Not now.
Revenge would be so simple. It would be so sweet. The fury bubbled inside of me, heating beneath the bones of my chest, sending bursts of energy to the tips of my fingers. Once, I would have freely released my violent wishes on those that irked me. I would have removed these unseen enemies from where they dared hurt my loved ones, in sweeps of action that left me wondering what I really protected. What parts of me I might have lost. It didn't matter, then - For I had nothing important left to lose.
Even in the midst of my deliberations, I saw her. And I remembered the calm I needed more than any vengeance. She still needs me. How could I live with myself, if I, her support, drifted?
And with a deep breath, I centered my purpose.
