Write your own Daily Issue!

[Lord_Sinclair]

This is mostly for fun, since you have to have a population of 500 million to submit your own issues, but I thought it would be interesting if we wrote our own Hollowworld daily issues!

For example:

Orphans flood the streets!

Humanitarians are increasingly pressing the issue of the number of orphans roaming around city streets and are demanding that the government invest in building orphanages to feed and house them.

1. "These orphans are the future of our nation!" cries humanitarian Savannah Kidds while posting pictures of saddened children on lampposts and parked cars. "The government needs to give them food, shelter, and a proper education! Sure, it'll cost the taxpayers a little, but just think of the children!"

2. "These humanitarians don't understand how society works," scoffs outspoken conservative Reed Phillips. "If you just give kids everything they want, they'll never learn what it means to work and survive on their own! I say we let businesses hire child labor for half the minimum wage; that would get these orphans off the streets and help everyone out, especially taxpayers!"

3. "You're missing out on a valuable opportunity, here," whispers Cree Blues, a former military officer. "Just imagine the benefits of taking these orphans early on and training them for combat and covert operations, like assassinations! They're just going to grow up to be criminals, anyways; better to have them fighting on our side!"

(Sincronia would likely adopt option two, if anyone was wondering.)

 

[Baron]

The game selects names at random. No need to put them in

 

[Lord_Sinclair]

I know, but it makes it more fun.

Savannah Kidds = Savin' da kids!

Reed Phillips = Read my lips

Cree Blues = Blue creeper skin

 

[Ray1333]

Get to Da Choppah!

In recent months, several emergency-situation patents have died because the helicopter they rode was held back by numerous landing protocols and procedures.


1) "This is insanity!" Yells Doctor Bled A. Lout, "emergency cases are being put to death because these 'copters! We need to abolish all aircraft landing regulations! I mean, what could REALLY go wrong at all?!"

2) Fiddling with something that most definitely not a pipe bomb, E. X. Plode tells you from accross the desk: "so true, but not far enough! We should abolish all air regulations whatsoever! Airplanes should be able to be used for bom- I mean anything! Anything at all!"

3) "Are you kidding me? These idiots want you to do somthing that may kill hundreds!" Yells Emma Right, who storms out so fast this description can't even be finished.

4) "This al' be a great big hooplah if ya ask meh!" Says Grav A. Tay, while duck taping his shoes to the ground. "All that comes of flying is falling! And fire! And crashes, terrible terrible crashes! All air transit shoulda be illegal!"

 

[Angryboy]

We should try and get in as many Hollowworld references in as we can.
My own might be a bit extreme...

Grief has Returned!

"Rising levels of aggression from large sections of the population and strange natural phenomena have started wild rumors of the return of Grief, the Ancient Immortal enemy of [region], originally locked away by the World Assembly in an alternate dimension. Many people have brought up suggestions of what should be done,"

1) "These rumors are crazy!" exclaims a local police-officer, "This aggression isn't caused by any 'Ancient Enemy' of [nation], they believe they can get away with violence because there aren't enough police officers on the streets! We need more funding and to be given the right to hand out more severe punishments!"

2) One of the leading members of a local cult, known as 'The Cult of Corruption', storms in to your office. "She is returning, and there is nothing you can do about it! Join Her now, and [nation] will not suffer like the rest of [region] will!"

3) Three men, all clad in golden armor, enter your office; the largest one speaks with a confident tone, "These Cultists are right. Grief is returning, but we CAN stop Her. I would recommend you increase funding to the police force and the military, as well as encouraging people to form local militias to deal with those driven insane by Her". The larger man walks out of the room, the two others following him while dragging the Cultist with them.

4) [Random name], your Minister of Research and Development, takes a seat. "Do what you will with these cultists and militias, but I believe I have found the key to this... problem. You see, these people are infected with 'Darkbloodism', a disease which causes increased levels of aggressiveness, as you can clearly see. I have some of my best men working on a cure for it right now, actually. All we need is some more funding for the final phase of development, and some assistance in distributing the cure. All I ask is a few thousand [currency] for my work, and your nation will be quite normal once again."


What do you guys think then?
I got "beat the Nether out of the crazies", "Submit to Grief", "Fight Grief" and "Find a cure".

 

[Lord_Sinclair]

Here's one based on the Sorrowlands via "Wild West" expansion:

Manifest Destiny?

Overcrowding and an ever-expanding population have caused the government to consider opening up portions of government protected areas to the public. People have swarmed the streets, and your office, offering their opinions on the matter.

"How could you even consider opening up nature reserves to the public?!" cries conservationist Sally O'Nara. "Do you know what people and businesses will do to those reserves? They'll chop down every tree, dig up the terrain, drill mines underground, and build an unorganized mess out of anything they can lay their hands on! We must keep our nature reserves out of the hands of the public and private enterprises!"

"This is exactly what Sincronia needs to gain a competitive edge in the marketplace!" exclaims Paul Boulders, CEO of Pinecrest Timber. "With the resources in these reserves, businesses, and Sincronia by extension, could make a fortune! You could even sell the land to the highest bidders and make some money for the government in the process!"

"You want to auction off the land?!" shouts renowned gunman Ben E. Jimson. "That'll just give corporations all the power! What we need to do is just let people claim whatever they dang well please. First come, first serve; survival of the fittest; all that stuff! Keep the government and the corporations out of all this and let the people govern themselves!"

"It is our destiny to inhabit these lands!" proclaims Reverend Val O. Nixon. "God has granted us the rights to these lands, and only those who are deemed holy enough should have power within them! The church should be given sole ownership of the lands and have the right to delegate ownership of them to whomever it deems fit!"