Application for randn11 (rodrik) [Declined - Baron]

[randn11]

1. What is your minecraft username? randn11
2. How old are you? 14 years of age
3. What gender are you? male
4. What country do you live in? United States of America

5a. Do you agree to read our Survival Guide before logging onto the server? yes (lol)
5b. Do you agree to consult both our Tome of Citizenship and Everything you need to know page before asking any questions in the game? I agree
6. Please provide a lengthy in-character introduction; roleplay as your character in a situation of your choice.
My name is stephen. I am a knight who does not remember much after the Battle of ForSwanstin. All i can remember is how to fight, talk and love. unfortuntately in my battle i lost part of my amygdala which is part of the brain that controls fear. because of this, i cannot feel fear which makes me strong. i am a patient person and i abosulutely love animals.


I DO remember this! i am sworn enemies with a demon in the nether. i dont know his name nor where he is. my duty is to destroy this demon. what i plan to do is disguise myself as a dark sorcerer and live inside an unholy kingdom. i will search for him once i am there.


As i walk into the darkness into this unholy kingdom, i see demons flying through the hot air

"Who art thou!" A Dark guard shouts

"Silence! for i am not here to conversate!" i claim

The guard charges at me with his magical spear, i grab my sword and dodge the attack and run up to him. i disarm his spear by cutting off his hand

"How dare you charge at me? do you have any idea who you are dealing with?!" i scream

with my sword i gently touch a vein at his neck, suddenly his veins explode and he falls to the ground.

"That should teach you, dark scum!"

I grab on a magical hood and armor to dress up as a villager of this unholy place. as i walk i see women working and children crying. i think to myself, "how could anyone create such a dark and horrifying place. i feel terrible for these people."

i walk into a palace covered in obsidian and netherrack. I see him, the demon i am looking for, he has golden bracelets and has blood coming out of his mouth.

"No se hoes li gua no odivci berruskiuo" (who is this disgusting knight? he doesnt seem to be one of us nor a villager)
"I have come here for a duel evil demon!"

"HAHAHA, if you think you can destroy me, have it your way!" the demon said.

"AAAAaaaah!" i scream as i charge at him with my mythical sword "Devorous"

(the rest is to be found out into the game


7. Please introduce yourself to the community; explaining who you are, what your interests and/or hobbies are and why you would like to be a part of our community in 8 sentences or more. You do not have to disclose any personal information if you don't want to, but we'd just like to know what kind of person you are.
My name is rodrik and i an 14 years old. i do a lot of bowling and i love to play sports. i feel that i am a patient man who absolutely loves roleplaying. i would love to be part of your community because i heard that it is a lot of fun and that this is a very mature community. Based on reviews i have read, this is a mature, and fun server that i would love to join. I feel that i am a very nice person who loves to help others. i have a little brother who is very funny and nice. (he doesnt play minecraft though.) i dont want to tell you too much info about myself i dont feel comfortable doing so but you should know that i feel that i am very mature, patient, and helpful to others. my favorite color is gray. Oh an i do have a little pet dog named ivens. he is a coton de tulear and is very energetic

8. Do you have any examples of your work and creativity, either in minecraft or outside? You can attach them to this post using the "upload a file" button or link to the image or video. No sorry

9. Is there anything else you wish to share with us? that's about it

10. Are you aware that the use of black magic (xray,xray texture packs and ore locator mods) is not allowed on our server, and a banishable offense? yes i am aware

11. How did you find out about our server? i was looking for roleplay server till i found about this one

12. Have you voted for us? (Click Here) Yes sir i have

 

[mistaahh]

I think you misunderstood the In-character part, question six to say it easy, you don't have to talk ABOUT your roleplay character, you need to make a in-character
By the story you should write, we must be able to read and see who your character is, here take a look at the recently approved apps. And for the rest, could you add a bit to seven? What is your favorite color, do you have a pet etc. ?

 

[Yoda]

As well as what Mistaahh has said, I would also like to say that the "mother/parents died when I was young" story is very overused, and has become a bit of a cliché on the server nowadays. Also, considering you were a (possibly scrawny) child in prison at the time, I find it rather overpowered that you managed to kill another man in prison and that you escaped. Therefore I may suggest drastic changes to the storyline. And, you may find it easier to write in first-person present tense, and add a lot of descriptions etc.; it's so we can see how well you roleplay.

As for question no.7, the required amount is 8 sentences, no less. You do not have to talk about this server or roleplaying, because we want to get to know you.
And remember to use the edit button under your post, it's your friend!

Thanks, Yoda74.

 

[Baron]

As yoda and mistaahh have said, you need to do some fixing on your application. Their advice is solid, so I recommend you listen to them.

For #6, write about your character in a situation from his point of view, with special attention to his thoughts and emotions.

For #7, please write at least 8 sentences about yourself, not about our community or your Minecraft experience.

 

[randn11]

Thanks, i changed my story completely and i hope you all enjoy it

 

[Mitch]

Greetings, randn11.

6. Please provide a lengthy in-character introduction; roleplay as your character in a situation of your choice.

For your question number six, you still have a little bit of editing to do. I would like to underline that an In-Character introduction is not a backstory, it is written from the present time of your character. Explaining about your character's past is a backstory. Anyhow, the introduction is to be written from a RolePlay point of view, as we wish to get an idea of your abilities as a RolePlayer. You would explain about how your character reacts by writing the words and actions he would use in the situation he is placed into - this situation can be anything of your choosing.

If you would like an example of an In-Character introduction, as Mistaah has said, you can take a look at the previous accepted applications for an idea of what to do, just remember, try not to copy what people have wrote for their introductions!

Thanks, and best of luck!

 

[randn11]

I added some roleplay, i hope you like it

 

[Yoda]

For question no.6, it's in character, so Stephen doesn't know his name is an rp name.
Also, (this seems picky) a spear reaches further than a sword, so you would not be able to kill the guard without a battle of some sort with the spear.

 

[mistaahh]

And please, refrain of the minecraft things like netherrack and obsidian.

i walk into a palace covered in obsidian and netherrack

Please, refrain from that, here's an exemple:

I walked into a palace, covered with weird purple stone, that must be obsidian, but another sort of stone, red and...weird...It looks like it comes from the deepest circles of hell

See? More words, longer sentences and more details
EDIT: Obsidian exists irl...I think, so that's fine, but netherrack, in fact, doesn't exist irl

 

[Yoda]

And please, refrain of the minecraft things like netherrack and obsidian.
Please, refrain from that, here's an exemple:
See? More words, longer sentences and more details
EDIT: Obsidian exists irl...I think, so that's fine, but netherrack, in fact, doesn't exist irl

Not entirely sure if that's necessary, Mist. (not to be rude)

 

[mistaahh]

Not entirely sure if that's necessary, Mist. (not to be rude)

Lol, I had the same issue though, and you're not rude
EDIT: Let's not hog this post /re-rail further comments about this send in a pm to me

 

[randn11]

wow, you guys are picky lol

 

[Baron]

We do seek a certain standard in our applications You're quite close to that standard, but as mistaahh pointed out, your character wouldn't have knowledge of things like netherrack and obsidian unless he had some kind of background in geology Metagaming (your character having knowledge he should, when you only know it out of character) is a serious issue and should be avoided.

 

[Houdaman9]

i lost part of my amygdala which is part of the brain that controls fear.


There is no way you would know this, especially in a medieval setting. (Meta gaming)

 

[Mitch]

Any activity on this application? His last post was on Saturday, I'd assume his last edit was also on that day. Decline for inactivity, or give him a few more days?

 

[Baron]

I'm feeling Christmasy, so I'm going to give him until this time tomorrow before declining.

 

[Baron]

Aaaand declined due to inactivity.

Feel free to reapply!