Captain Cutlass Ban Appeal

[Capt_Cutlass]

Hello. Apparantly I was banned for the use of "disgusting language" for some terrible, terrible things I said a long time ago which I deeply regret. I can promise you that since that time, I have grown in maturity and promise to never EVER talk like that on this server again. If you could unban me, you have my word. I feel terrible I ever even thought to say the things I said, and I could not be more sorry. Is there anything I can do to make up for it and be unbanned? I did a terrible thing, and I know I did. I made a horrible mistake, and it really makes me feel terrible about myself I ever decided to talk like that. Please, if you decide to temp ban me, I will be eternally grateful. Just please don't make this a permaban. I'll do anything you want to make up for it. Also, please do not share the things I said publicly. They were EXTREMELY immature, and I fully regret saying them. I was sort of caught up in the moment, and that's not how I normally am. I know you probably don't believe me, but I really am sorry and will never do anything like that again if you give me a second chance. You have my word and my word is my bond.

 

[dracoboy2]

We won't post it publicly.

 

[Capt_Cutlass]

So, what're you going to do to me? Is there a way I can make up for my actions?

Also, I feel that this is inevitable. If the person I said those things about reads what I said, I could not even begin to tell you how sorry I am for my actions back then. I realize you've probably lost all respect for me, and I can't blame you if you did. If you can't forgive me either, I'd completely understand and will leave you alone forever. I'm so, SO sorry. :'( I was a terrible person and have probably done something unforgivable. I'm sure you all hear this kind of statement a lot, but I personally feel a strong sense of guilt for my actions and it is eating me alive. I just need to know, can I ever be forgiven for my actions? From you all, I mean. It might be too late to forgive myself.

 

[dracoboy2]

We can wait for the higher admins.

 

[Sodium]

I'm honestly surprised that you spoke like that about someone you supposedly respect, and in all honestly I find it damn well hurtful to the whole admin team. I'm utterly speechless, this blatant disregard for both people's feelings and authority should not - in my opinion - be tolerated.

 

[Capt_Cutlass]

I understand. If you do permaban me, I would completely understand and I know none of you will ever respect me again. I don't respect myself anymore either, and feel the same things you do about my behavior. I would give anything in thw world to make up for my behavior, and if there is no way I'll ever be forgiven, I completely understand.... You have every right to be disgusted in me.

My offense was much worse than any amount of xraying a person could do, and I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness or any amount of respect from you. And if you do decide to kick me out forever, then I'll take my punishment and leave with the greatest respect for all of you, especially the person I said those things about. If you're reading this, I don't expect you to forgive me, but please know that I've changed during that time and could not be more remorseful. Now I'm paying the price for what I did, and getting no less than the sheer hatred, guilt, and disgust that I deserve.

 

[Eric V]

I would like to say what ever capt did that was apparently very disrespectful, but I think he has changed from the time I think has passed since he said it, he seems very helpful and nice. Please don't get angry or upset with me for this opinion as I do not know what was said, and that could change my opinion.

 

[bodejodel]

You can read it in the watch list admin section, if you really want to... I stopped reading within a couple of lines...

terrible, terrible things I said a long time ago

You mean "just over 2 weeks ago" don't you?
What is it that made you change that much in 2 weeks?

 

[Capt_Cutlass]

I understand your disgust for me, and if you really want to know what I mean when I said I've changed, here's what I mean.

Less than a week ago, Sally and I had some falling out, leaving me with pretty much no respect for her, or so I thought. It took someone else insulting her to make me realise that I still did care about her. We made up for that, and this past week we've been steadily growing closer. We've been keeping a private chat starting with the fight, and if you'd like to access it, please do. It's titled "Look, whatever I did to make you so mad, I'm sorry." I started it a couple days ago, much later then when I said those terrible things, but you'll notice that my respect for her has been steadily growing and that I think much too highly of her now than I did back then to ever consider talking like that about her again. It could not have been more wrong of me, and every single thought, amount of hatred, and despise for me is all felt rightfully so. But please, check the private chat and see for yourself.

 

[JustShadow]

You can read it in the watch list admin section, if you really want to... I stopped reading within a couple of lines...

Well... Not unless they're admins...

 

[bodejodel]

Mistook him for an admin since players are not allowed to reply to ban appeals.
There are so many of us...

 

[Axex]

We are Legion. Also, after reading what you wrote, and only 2 weeks ago no less, considering how long you have been on the server, I am in agreement of a ban.

 

[Capt_Cutlass]

I understand. And if you do decide to permaban me in the end, I wouldn't blame you. In fact, if I was in your position right now, I probably would ban me too. There's only one last thing I want before I go away forever if you decide that'll be my punishment. I sent Sally a PM about it, me personally apologizing for the awful, obscene things that I should never have even thought, and all I want is for her to read everything I've said apologizing for it, even though I don't expect her to forgive me. She doesn't deserve to have someone like me on her list of people she considers friends. She deserves better than that, and I wish I could take it all back, because I certainly don't feel that way about her now, even before you guys issued the ban. All I want is to hear Sally's opinion on this entire thing and for her to tell me personally how she feels about me now and what she thinks should be done about me. This will probably be my last request, so all I want is to hear the feelings of the one I so badly offended. If you ban me forever, at least I'll have left knowing whether I was forgiven or unforgiven. And I wouldn't blame her one single bit if she doesn't forgive me.

 

[Itzzaboy]

I had to wash my eyes with acid after reading that.

You do sound sincere in your apology, but we can't just lie down to the fact that what you said was appalling. I know you're active in the whitelist applications, so what about all those 13 and 14 year olds on the server?

I'd love to see some form of compromise where you could return, but in exchange for the offence I really don't see how.

 

[Capt_Cutlass]

You know, Itzza, you're right. My deeds were just too much to be overlooked, and I deserve to be banned. I pretty much don't have any hope anyway, but there's another thing. Even if you guys somehow unbanned me, I would have to spend the rest of my days in Altera being silently hated by each and every one of you. That's not something that I'd be willing to cope with to have Hollowworld back. I went too far this time, and now I must pay the price. However, even though I've pretty much made my decision, I still want Sally to have the final say in the matter. I betrayed her trust, and I feel it only fair to let her be the one to banish or save me. Whatever she decides, I will willingly accept. I let her down, so now's her chance to have the final say. I no longer am begging you to unban me. I am respectfully asking for when and if you do let me go from Hollowworld, you will somehow find it in your hearts to forgive me for my wrongs. That's all I really want. Do you think you can do that, as my most likely final request?

 

[SallyPirate]

I'm not sure how I personally feel on the situation, I'm still trying to process everything.
I do know the right choice is being made, even if the conversation wasn't about a mod, I would call for a permaban and I'm sure the other mods would as well.

We're supposed to be a friendly and mature server, people with similiar interests all coming together to have fun, whether that's building, talking around a fireplace or rping something dramatic. Not... this.

 

[Steelcryo]

Not of any relevance but I have to ask, how exactly did his mother come to find out about this?

As for emailing you his comments, I am unsure exactly what he said or when the incident occured so I can't send you anything. I'm sure one of the other admins that knows the details can find a transcript of his chat from our logs and send it to you.

 

[SallyPirate]

It's in the Player Watchlist section. I'll email the comments.

 

[Capt_Cutlass]

He was supposed to be online doing his "driver's ed" class work. He wasn't...he was replying to something on here. I can tell when he is lying and hiding something. I've been on here ever since...trying to find out what he said. I know it must be REALLY awful by the comments I've read so far. Please accept my sincere apology for my son't behavior. He is grounded and will not be on this forum again. SallyRose...I really am sorry he hurt you. If you would please email me the conversation he was involved in, I would greatly appreciate it.

 

[SallyPirate]

It's been sent, the Subject is "Conversation"