((Hello all! I just want to let you know a little about what you’re getting into before you read this. Aracena is crazy. She has been Marked by Jishrim and gets a little Touched sometimes. But she is also about marry Athryl, the love of her life that keeps her sane. If you go forward, just know that it's a little long- around four pages, actually. But yeah. Here's this. I lost a little steam towards the end as I was getting tired and had to be up in six hours, but this is as much as I'm doing to it. Hehe.))
Chipping Away
She took a small amount of comfort in the dark stillness of the house. Sitting at the downstairs table, legs pulled up to her chest, Aracena closed her eyes and listened to the relative calmness around her. Other than the familiar and incessant chittering in her ear, she could faintly make out Athryl’s steady breathing from the room above. It blended easily with the sound of a lazy wind drifting through Thiil. She was thankful the creaking stairs hadn’t woken him as she snuck away, knowing that he slept very little anyway. The last thing she wanted was for him to come checking on her, that look of concern on his face. She didn’t want him to make a fuss over nothing, not when there was still so much planning to do… No. She was fine where she was- in the solitary darkness.
She slowly opened her green eyes and leaned forward, resting her chin on her knees. The faint starlight creeping through the mountain fog outside illuminated the basic shapes of the room as she let her eyes idly wander. A few dishes still sat on the table from their previous dinner, the faded scent of stew mingling with recently disturbed dust. One of her journals sat open beside an unfinished meal, and she could see the contrast of the black ink spill on the white page, even in the sparse light. Aracena shuddered, knowing that if it were any closer to dawn, she would also see the infestation of spiders in the house.
Creeping, crawling, swirling out of every crevasse. Black bodies forming and reforming in wisps of dark smoke. Swarming and consuming. Even though she could not see them now, she knew they were there. Always there. Always chittering and clicking in her ear. Always-
Aracena sat up, shaking her head quickly. Best not to think about such things. Everyone worked so hard to keep her calm and focused that she knew the moment she paid it any attention, everything would crumble. She couldn’t afford a fit right now. Not so close to the wedding. Best not to think about her condition at all.
With a determined expression, she pushed her blond hair out of her face and lowered her legs to the cold floor, slowly scooting out of the seat. Having lived in the house so long, she didn’t need the half-light of the stars to make her way to the door. Reaching her thin arm out, she grabbed the shawl off the wall hook and hastily threw it around her shoulders. Perhaps the chill air would do her some good. With a furtive glance to the staircase, she listened once more to confirm that her Love was still asleep. Hearing the steady rhythm of his easy slumber, she softly smiled and quietly stepped outside.
Latching the door carefully behind her, she drew the shawl closer against her skin and descended the steps to the path at the bottom of the hill. Outside, the light was somewhat stronger. She could see the night sky and all of the tiny lights struggling to be seen through the passing clouds. Unfortunately, she could also see black shapes skittering across the stone and wood walkway. Aracena picked up her pace, a small shiver running down her spine. Don’t think about it. Ignore them. They aren’t real. They’re just the result of Jishrim’s cogitations. They aren’t real. They aren’t real. It’s just the madness. They aren’t real. They aren’t real. They don’t have power over me unless I let them. They aren’t real. They aren’t real. They aren’t real. They aren’t real.
Suddenly, Aracena stopped. She had somehow forgotten she was moving in the first place, but snapped to attention when she realized she’d gotten lost in a loop of her own thoughts. Glancing around, she saw that she had walked farther than anticipated. However, a warm smile rose to her lips as she looked at the cozy table before her. The lazy wind rustled the leaves of the large overhanging tree, melodically melding with the idle bubble of the still river. She sunk her bare toes into the cold dirt, her smile widening.
When everything began with Athryl, this is where it had started. In an official sense, anyway. The blue flowers, the dinner, talking till sunrise… Though, it’s also where other things started as well. After parting ways that night, that was when Jishrim first took notice of her. First made his threats…
Aracena pulled her hand up to grasp a strand of hair, her smile suddenly drifting away. In the chill of the night, happiness tainted with dark memories, she suddenly wished she’d just stayed in the dark solitude of the house. Heavily sighing, she lowered herself into the chair, begrudgingly allowing the spiders to crawl up from the ground and onto her legs. There was no stopping them and she knew it. When she was putting on a good show for everyone in town, holding it together, none of them knew how hard it was to ignore the cretins crawling on her skin and through her hair.
But with Athryl, she found she could cope with it all. So long as she had him, she knew that it would be alright. He reminded her that everything was just in her mind. Even when words became confused and jumbled, he gently guided her back to coherence. Worked patiently with her when irrationality took over. Pointed to everything that was real, and not imagined. Even held her when the crying sobs transformed into cackling. She was certain, that so long as she had him, she could bear her curse to the end of her days.
As she thought about everything good and kind about the man she was to marry in two days, she scratched lightly at the wood of the table with her left hand. Tiny slivers of old wood flecked away bit by bit as her musings carried her farther and farther into a daze.
Chip. Curious that she could love a man so much, yet still have no idea what reasons he would have for loving her in return. Chip. From the moment she was Marked, she was really more of a burden to him than anything. Chip. Jishrim even said that Athryl could never love her. Chip. How could he love a woman so gripped by madness that she had to be locked in a cage? Chip Chip. What if she became too much of a burden for him? Chip chip. What if, one day, she fell into a fit that he couldn’t pull her out of? Chip. What if he just gave up, seeing that there was no hope for her? CHIP.
She winced, inhaling sharply as a sudden pain stabbed into her finger. She felt the blood dripping onto the scratched table more than she could see it. In fact, all of her nails hurt to some degree. Small splinters and wood slivers that she hadn’t noticed till now had become lodged just under the skin, though it was her index finger that shrieked with the most fury. Pinching the wood shard she could feel embedded under her nail, she pulled quickly with a hiss. In an agitated flurry of unconsciously spoken words, she cursed quietly.
“.sretnilps nekasrofsdoG”
Flicking the piece of wood into the darkness, she stood. Her left hand twitched slightly, though not so much from the cold as from her frantic state. She smoothed out her shawl and started a half-sprint away from the cozy seats by the river. Her words came out like a breathy whisper as she hastily muttered, “Home, home. Have to get home before he sees me gone.”
She stared at ground as she went, eyes wide with the effort to put one foot in front of the other. Keep moving. Keep moving. Have to keep moving. Cannot tarry. She turned the corner, passing the Town Hall and the tunnel to Silas’s shrine. Shouldn’t have left. Bad things happen when I leave. Get back get back. She glanced up at the house nestled atop the hill, suspiciously glancing behind as if an unseen danger had followed her there. Silent and quiet like butterflies in the tempest. She gingerly opened the front door and darted inside before her fears could catch up to her. Shutting it solidly behind her, she leaned against the wood, breathing heavily and panicked.
Moments passed. She leaned there, trying to catch her breath for a long time. The scent of stew and dust accosted her nose once more with every inhale, choking her slightly. Aracena slid down to the floor, holding her head in her hands as tears began to stream down her face. She knew that every episode like this chipped away at her remaining sanity. She hated that she’d let it get to her. She had to be strong. She knew she had to put on a good face. But it was getting harder and harder to keep Jishrim’s curse in check. She sobbed in silence, suddenly overwhelmed by everything.
“Aracena?”
She looked up, hearing Athryl call just at the edge of her hearing. She sniffed, and wiped the tears away. He must have heard her carrying on. Leaning down and wiping her face on the sleeve of her night gown, she sniffed once more for good measure. She was not going to let Athryl see her in such a state, not when the happiest day of their lives sat just around the corner.
With a quick readjustment to her hair and off-kilter gown, she stood and headed toward the stairs. She walked carefully, thinking through an explanation of why she was out so late. He would likely be worried. Ask questions, as he always did. As she rounded the top, she stopped on the last step.
The dim starlight came in through the window and illuminated a figure lying in the bed. She listened and recognized the same even breathing from earlier. He was asleep… She took the last step hesitantly, puzzled and confused. She knew she heard him call her name. She was sure. And yet, as she approached, she saw that he was most assuredly asleep. The white strip of hair was askew, covering part of his face, masking most of the scarring as he soundly slept.
A pit formed in her stomach as she heard his voice again, this time coming from several directions at once. “Aracccena?” She grimaced as Athryl’s voice suddenly twisted into Jishrim’s laugh. Cackling, hissing laughter, echoing all around her.
She pulled her left hand to her chest, spinning Athryl’s ring around her finger for a comfort. She should have known. With a heavy sigh, the laughter still resonating in her mind, Aracena approached the bed and sat down on the edge, careful not to disturb him.
“Aracceeeeena?”
Glancing around the room, she glowered at the shadows that moved and the voices that teased. She would not let it get to her. No matter how much the Mark chipped away at her, it would not break her. With a determined nod at the nothingness in the room, she lay down beside him, knowing that he was the only thing real in the room. He was the only thing that mattered. Rolling to her side, she put an arm around him and closed her eyes. She listened to the rise and fall of his chest, focusing on the rhythm of it. This man beside her, for whatever reason, loved her despite Jishrim’s lies. He was greater than that the cruel laughter of the room. With each breath, it was like an anchor of sanity. As she lay there, she too fell into that same, easy slumber, knowing that everything would be alright.
(@IceandFire and @Michcat )
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