pyrocide
The Mogul of Cromarcky
(This is one of my first attempts at humorous writing - please let me know what you think and if you'd like to see more. Thanks!)
An excerpt from the journal of Marcus "Pyrocide" Helix:
Summer, PC 2593 - Day 1 - Alas! For I have been traveling this northern kingdom for weeks without remembering to keep track of the day. I will call this entry "Day 1" and will continue from there. Recently, I boarded a caravel by the name of The Gilded Lass. How amazed was I that this ship carried a crew of only women! Usually a woman on board a vessel is cause for the superstitious to claim bad omens - but not I! I was amazed to see the ladies hard at work to make sure their ship stayed afloat, even though their combined atrocities of being women on a ship will surely anger the sea gods, meaning a horrible death for all of us in the near future.
However, if any group of women would be able to spit in the face of the nautical deities, it would be this crew. Their frames and muscular structure easily support the arduous task of manning the masts, keeping the rigging... and whatever else a crew does to keep a ship afloat. To be honest, I know very little of sailing - However one of the crew, a handsome girl by the name of Bewtch (I believe that's the spelling, it must be foreign for sure) has taken a liking to me and has been showing me the ropes, literally. She's even allowed me to help hoist the sails while she stood directly behind me, her strong arms moving in time with mine as we pulled the ropes.
Side note - I've noticed the women seem to keep belaying pin clubs hidden underneath their dresses. How resourceful! I could see such a crew being beset upon by unscrupulous pirates, but with these hidden weapons these fine ladies could very well beat off any evil men that tried to have their way with them. I noticed this fact when Bewtch pressed herself against by back while we hoisted the sails together. I turned my head to look in Bewtch's eyes and with a smile I nodded to her, as I approved of her standing up for herself during the hard situations.
Nights aboard The Glided Lass were rough. As much as I admired the women for their dedication to self-defense, their wrestling matches that could be heard all throughout the ship and went on constantly during the night made it hard to fall asleep. Bewtch asked me to join in, multiple times, but as I am a gentleman I declined. I feel as though a responsible gentleman should not engage in physical activity of that nature with the opposite gender unless in a loving relationship. Bewtch seemed to not fully understand English, as she kept telling me that was why I should join her. That confirmed my suspicions of her foreign nature. That, and her native country seems to not mind body and facial hair as much as my homeland did. I have yet to mention it, as I don't want to upset her.
I should be arriving at my destination in the next few days. It is a small peninsula that a few of my comrades found, on which sits an ancient temple that they believe was used to serve the god Jax. I will write again when I make landfall there, so long as the gods of the sea do not come to swallow us all before I make to to shore.
Till then,
Marcus
An excerpt from the journal of Marcus "Pyrocide" Helix:
Summer, PC 2593 - Day 1 - Alas! For I have been traveling this northern kingdom for weeks without remembering to keep track of the day. I will call this entry "Day 1" and will continue from there. Recently, I boarded a caravel by the name of The Gilded Lass. How amazed was I that this ship carried a crew of only women! Usually a woman on board a vessel is cause for the superstitious to claim bad omens - but not I! I was amazed to see the ladies hard at work to make sure their ship stayed afloat, even though their combined atrocities of being women on a ship will surely anger the sea gods, meaning a horrible death for all of us in the near future.
However, if any group of women would be able to spit in the face of the nautical deities, it would be this crew. Their frames and muscular structure easily support the arduous task of manning the masts, keeping the rigging... and whatever else a crew does to keep a ship afloat. To be honest, I know very little of sailing - However one of the crew, a handsome girl by the name of Bewtch (I believe that's the spelling, it must be foreign for sure) has taken a liking to me and has been showing me the ropes, literally. She's even allowed me to help hoist the sails while she stood directly behind me, her strong arms moving in time with mine as we pulled the ropes.
Side note - I've noticed the women seem to keep belaying pin clubs hidden underneath their dresses. How resourceful! I could see such a crew being beset upon by unscrupulous pirates, but with these hidden weapons these fine ladies could very well beat off any evil men that tried to have their way with them. I noticed this fact when Bewtch pressed herself against by back while we hoisted the sails together. I turned my head to look in Bewtch's eyes and with a smile I nodded to her, as I approved of her standing up for herself during the hard situations.
Nights aboard The Glided Lass were rough. As much as I admired the women for their dedication to self-defense, their wrestling matches that could be heard all throughout the ship and went on constantly during the night made it hard to fall asleep. Bewtch asked me to join in, multiple times, but as I am a gentleman I declined. I feel as though a responsible gentleman should not engage in physical activity of that nature with the opposite gender unless in a loving relationship. Bewtch seemed to not fully understand English, as she kept telling me that was why I should join her. That confirmed my suspicions of her foreign nature. That, and her native country seems to not mind body and facial hair as much as my homeland did. I have yet to mention it, as I don't want to upset her.
I should be arriving at my destination in the next few days. It is a small peninsula that a few of my comrades found, on which sits an ancient temple that they believe was used to serve the god Jax. I will write again when I make landfall there, so long as the gods of the sea do not come to swallow us all before I make to to shore.
Till then,
Marcus
