Canon Sweeter Than Revenge

[Firegirl]

WARNING: Bloody and graphic

To watch you die was my only dream. To see your body crumple, the light fade from your eyes. For my sword to slice into your body, the blood spray from your open wound. I would laugh as your blood rained down on me, grinning madly as people stopped and stared.

Or would it be silent? A swift dagger to the neck, posion in your drink? To watch the foam rise between your lips as you choked your last breath's out.

I'd laugh.

It would be a quest fulfilled. A nightmare ended.

But that never happened.

In some ways, you cheated me. I wanted to destory you, to torcure you, to laugh as you died.

But you simply vanished. Like a ghost on the wind, you died. Never to return to my line of sight.

In some ways you cheated me, but in other ways, you fulfilled my request.

You died.

 

[Firegirl]

Tentivly asking general opinions, what should I improve, what you liked, etc.

 

[Halendar]

I very much like your use of imagery in this. It's very vivid. The fourth sentence was my favorite. The only things I would change is instead of the line, "as you choked your last breath's out", maybe something like "as you choked on your last breath." ? Also the line "Like a ghost on the wind, you died." Maybe "Like a ghost on the wind, you faded" I just prefer that wording . This criticism is all in good faith by the way, and I hope it helps you.

Overall it was very well written!