Aimtrue345-application [Declined WildWyvern]

[Soul42]

1.What is your minecraft username?
my minecraft username is Aimtrue345

2.How old are you?
im 19 years old (a bit older than most from what i understand so dont judge me )

3.What gender are you?
i am a guy

4. What country do you live in?
i live in the United states (seems to be going downhill as of late too)

5a.Do you agree to read our Survival Guide before logging onto the server?
i have read the survival guide

5b. Do you agree to consult both our Tome of Citizenship and Everything you need to know page before asking any questions in the game?
I agree to consult the tome of citizenship and everything I'll need to know page

6.The shadows have always been my friend....Hiding, running.....That was 5 years ago. I've vowed to protect those in need form the shadows for now they are my friend for a different reason, thats why i became a nynja, I had saved this elderly man from a mugging and after i had beaten the would-be mugger sensless the elder had asked my my name "i am of no importance" he ad interrupted me saying "but i insist good sir" i started to choke up because no one showed me such kindness before but i steadily replied "my name is Zak" and he promptly insisted i accept his charity whic i reluctantly accepted bowing in thanks. I wander the land alone, hoping to find somewhere where my skills are accepted.....somewhere where i can make new friends in hopes of living a peaceful life....I've heard rumors of a place called Altera where all walks of life are accepted.....That is where i'm headed, to Altera.....To a new life....A peaceful life.

7.My name is Jesse Whitaker. I enjoy playing games, making jokes, building, and digging. I would personally call myself a visionary because, i can see what i want to build in my mind but cant get it out to where i want it. I love music, i hope to be able to go somewhere with it one day. I'm a very social person and hope to make new friends everywhere. I'm helpful if I'm able to.

8.Do you have any examples of your work and creativity, either in minecraft or outside?
unfortunately, i dont

9. Is there anything else you wish to share with us?
i've nothing else to share

10.Are you aware that the use of black magic (xray,xray texture packs and ore locator mods) is not allowed on our server, and a banishable offense?
I understand that under no circumstances should i use black magic.

11. How did you find out about our server?
my friend 21Darklink12....Shane Bentley

12.Have you voted for us?
I'd like to see what i experience before i vote, if i vote before i know what im getting it may be a terrible thing.

"seek out the shadows, in the darkest reaches is where youll find my help" -Aimtrue345

 

[French Roast]

Few things to help with your application:

First off, it helps a lot if you have the original questions above your answers so that the mods/admins know exactly what you're responding to. Preferably have the questions in bold so it is easy to see where the question ends and your answer begins.

On #6 right now it is too much of a backstory, rather than a character introduction. Do something that will more show who your character is as a person, more specifically their thoughts/actions. Put him into a situation and show how he reacts to it. Display how your character behaves.

And lastly on #7 it's a bit hard to tell when a sentence ends because of the "..." that you have fairly frequently in the first part. If that's one large sentence, you have to add a few more sentences so you have at least 8. Also, the lines about your character are more exactly how I could describe what we're trying to get out of #6. 7 is you as a person, not your character. Maybe for #6 you can expand on that part of him being a protector, but replace those lines in 7 with something more about yourself.

 

[Soul42]

cool thanx it may take me more than a few days because im also looking for a job but ill keep what you said in mind and ill try my best to fix it

 

[French Roast]

If it takes too long before you edit this one you might just have to make the improvements in an entirely new application, since an inactive application will get automatically denied after 3 days. Don't let that discourage you, though, there's no penalty for re-applying.

 

[Soul42]

i appreciate it godfather1 im working on it now

 

[WildWyvern]

I understand that your application is currently under construction, please take your time working on a good application.

 

[Soul42]

I understand that your application is currently under construction, please take your time working on a good application.

I hope I've done a satisfactory job with my application

 

[WildWyvern]

Question 6:

I like some of the ideas you got down so far but it still needs more development. Perhaps you could elaborate on why you character became a ninja and expand your back story. Finally don't forget to mention your character's name some where in your bio.

 

[Soul42]

Question 6:

I like some of the ideas you got down so far but it still needs more development. Perhaps you could elaborate on why you character became a ninja and expand your back story. Finally don't forget to mention your character's name some where in your bio.

i thot this was a introduction? now i really am confused lol and ill be sure to include his name

 

[WildWyvern]

I said it was good start but it's a bit short, just try your best to expand it a little more. This isn't a race just take your time.

 

[Soul42]

is this better?

 

[WildWyvern]

After reading the changes, I think this application still lacks development and seems rushed. So I will have to decline it, feel free to reapply after you have given it some more time.

 

[Soul42]

now i feel really bad i tried i did...i didnt rush