killerdied12 - whitelist application [Inactive - Readij]

[Rexo51]

1. What is your minecraft username?
killerdied12
2. How old are you?
14
3. What gender are you?
male
4. What country do you live in?
united states
5a. Do you agree to read our Survival Guide before logging onto the server?
yes
5b. Do you agree to consult both our Tome of Citizenship and Everything you need to know page before asking any questions in the game?
Yes, and actually I have already read it.
6. Please provide a lengthy in-character introduction; roleplay as your character in a situation of your choice.
I'm looking out at the ocean at sunset. The sky is beautiful this time of year. I hear monsters from behind me. As they attack I hit them down with my sword. While I walk home I see my sister, reelru looking around for the docks. "Hey Keagan!" she yells out to me, " do you remember where the docks are? I can't seem to find them..." My sister gets lost very easily, even though she's been here longer then I have. I remeber when she found me in shalherana's temple. I was enraged. I couldn't remember anything, and I like to be in control of he situation. Eventually she calmed me down, told me where I was, and now I'm living here taking care of my little sis. "Keagan?" My little sister speaks up, "Do you have any food?"
"Reelru, did you almost die trying to mine again?"
"Yes."
"Ugh. How many times do I have to tell you to get a different job?"
"I know but... but... It's so HARD talking to people."
I shake my head and sigh. "Here's some chicken. SAVE IT. Don't eat it all at once like those watermelon."
"But they were so good...."
"Come on, let's go home."
"ok."
I am to protect people at all costs. and when we went back a meeting was gathered around the fire in port silver.

Whispers of evil thoughts flowed through my mind.
"worship Kilrox"
"Burn down the villages"
"KILL"
We had to run.
"Reelru, whatever happens to me, KEEP RUNNING."
"wait what?"
"go!"
gusts of wind slowed me down. I could hear footsteps running behind me. Would we make it? I hated evil.
"Kill your sister"
NO! We had to go! I jumped in front of a sword about to kill my sister. As I heard her scream my name everything went black. I wasn't dead, but not any better then before
7. Please introduce yourself to the community; explaining who you are, what your interests and/or hobbies are and why you would like to be a part of our community in 8 sentences or more. You do not have to disclose any personal information if you don't want to, but we'd just like to know what kind of person you are.
My name is Rex, and I dream of being a engineer when I grow up, although I'm not very good with redstone. My favorite color is green and my favorite food is pizza. I have one dog and her name is Luna, and I won't deny it, I LOVE HER. I love dogs! She's 3 years old now, and is super fun to play with. I have a sister, Ella who was already whitelisted for this server as Reelru. I believe her form was whitelisted by Abbeyvie. Ella's my little sister and I love to care for her as an older brother. I hope I can get the house next to hers in Funera Voca. I love playing adventure games with fighting in them, so I hope I can kill some zombies soon!

8. Do you have any examples of your work and creativity, either in minecraft or outside? You can attach them to this post using the "upload a file" button or link to the image or video.
Sorry, I like survival, my sister's the builder.
9. Is there anything else you wish to share with us?

Nope.
10. Are you aware that the use of black magic (xray,xray texture packs and ore locator mods) is not allowed on our server, and a banishable offense?
Yes.

11. How did you find out about our server?
Youtube!
12. Have you voted for us?

Yes.

 

[Kvothe]

Your answer to question six needs some work. You are asked to write a short RP-story for your character. Set a small scene and play your character, show us his reactions, actions and emotions, basically how you handle your character. Right now it's a backstory with no real story to it, which is not really what we're looking for. Take a look at other approved applications for inspiration or ideas, shoud you need it.
Your answer to question seven could be a tad longer, maybe add one or two sentences.

Pending for now, HeerKarel.

 

[Rexo51]

thank you.

 

[Rexo51]

done, Is that better?

 

[Shrimpsy]

Well, I'm no moderator, but #6 requires still a bit more editing at the least:
Monsters are not referred to as "mobs" in a roleplaying context. Rather specify what kind of mob, or just say "monster". Also, in roleplaying there is no "dying and respawning". Rather make an excuse like "She ran away from the monsters in the mine because she had no weapons" or something like that.

Thanks for reading!

 

[Yoda]

As Shrimpsy has mentioned, please do not directly refer to parts of minecraft that your character would not know, because this is 'meta-gaming'. Obviously, dying and respawning can be seen as overpowered ( ) but what you've written is very out of the immersion of the game. The server would be pretty boring if everyone just respawned, eh?

Also, the bit at the start;

I hear mobs from behind me. As they attack I hit them down with my sword.

seems a little OP, which isn't smiled on that much on the server. If I was to put it humorously:

One does not simply kill a bunch of mobs.

If you could change these parts, that would be great!

 

[Dark Auras]

Actually,
Killing a bunch of mobs isn't that hard. They spawn infinately, so people have to either kill them or be killed.
And mobs are definatly not as strong as the Alteran people.

Obviously, dying and respawning can be seen as overpowered ( ) but what you've written is very out of the immersion of the game. The server would be pretty boring if everyone just respawned, eh?

In the server lore,
The sisterhood can revive your characters.
Thus--Respawning.

 

[Yoda]

There's a tiiiny difference between respawning and reviving, I'd call it meta-gaming at least.

 

[Rexo51]

thank you that makes sense.

 

[Kvothe]

Question six is still bothering me, it's not really much to look at. Yes, you roleplay a bit, but it doesn't show us a hint of how your character reacts. In stead, he turns around, kills a few monsters and then sees his sister. It makes no sense at all. I suggest you try making a bit of a proper RP/story of it, leave out fighting since there's generally a lot of discussion about whether you act OP or not.
Also, before you make a backstory out of it, I also suggest looking at this thread:
http://hollowworld.co.uk/index.php?...d-a-background-story.15470/page-2#post-212208

PS. Sorry for taking so long to answer, it slipped my mind. Although I must kindly ask you and your sister not to make a thread about it, but rather pm me if it happens.

 

[Baron]

Your current answer to #6 doesn't really give us a good idea of who your character is. Could you please detail his thoughts and emotions, as well as use more descriptive words?

 

[Rexo51]

\thank you, my sister can over react to things, A LOT. sorry for her, she's really sorry. Any ways I will make the changes, I've just been kind of busy.

 

[Kvothe]

Why are there two seperate RP-sets?

 

[Rexo51]

well, A little bit of time passes, and it felt weiird not putting an extra line there. I can change it if you want though.

 

[Kvothe]

Yes please, it makes no real sense. Can you take a look at other approved applications to see what we ask from you?

 

[Readij]

Doesn't appear to have changed, so... declined for inactivity, but feel free to re-apply with Kvothe's changes