CyberChaosV2
Lord of Altera
So, being a creepy, antisocial, nerdy, geeky guy with no friends in middle school, I thought it was a great idea to spy on people with their friends and significant others to discover what I should be doing...I did a great job at being that creepy kid that seems to stare at people for uncomfortably long amounts of time, and yes, it was an awful idea...However, I also gained good insight into how people act, and in a way that I seemed to understand it logically. This isn't a thread to tell you how your characters should interact with people, it's a thread to tell you some key things to keep in mind, after all, I don't know your character, you do! Character differences aside, there are many things that don't change whether you're playing a human, elf or dwarf. Whether you're playing a guy, a girl, or a gender confused human wanting to be an earthspawn respecting elven culture and acting like a dwarf, all while raising sheep on a pig farm and yelling at people not to tell you how to run your life, you're an adult. That being said, there are different things to keep in mind, such as this: What kind of relationship is this?
Friendly:
Friends act different around different friends, it isn't always to make them happiest, in fact, it's usually to best represent the role your character would think of themself as, here's an example:
Roy is less emotional and more logical around his aprentice, Erik Stoneshield, he does this as it's his job to teach Erik, though he does go overboard as he's very firm in his beliefs.
Roy tends to make fun of himself more around Akasha, even though he's her mentor like he is to Erik, the two are more like friends than teacher and student.
Roy is more calm around Thordil, this is due to him seeing thordil kinda broken, and he understands that it takes time, so it's his way of showing his friend that he'll give him time.
Each of these friends are equal in Roy's eyes, yet he acts differently around them because of his own feeling of how he /should/ act
Newly Acquainted:
This one's pretty short and sweet, just keep in mind what your character is like around new people, and know what you're character is like in general, you'll be golden.
Romantic:
1:Keep IC, guys, don't have your character instantly fall in love with a woman/guy just because YOU think they'd make a match, I'm the only one with a matchmaker on the server (so far, also, that is not meant to be taken seriously *punched for explaining joke*) But also, if your character is in a relationship, and something happens that changes how your character would view their S.O. from their point of view? Make it happen. example:
*Dasyra sees Alustrum hugging Lizzy, not knowing who Lizzy is, and having Dasyra be a bit possessive, she'd get a bit angry. If Alustrum doesn't like women jumping to conclusions, he might not like Dasyra as much, relationship may have rocky future.*
2: a common misconception is that two people have to really know each other in order to fall in love, this is not entirely true. HOWEVER, NO LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT!! There is a LARGE difference between 'Love' and 'Attraction' attraction can lead to love, but they're certainly not the same, here is an example of how some romantic relationships can progress:
Stranger-Acquaintance-Friend-Good Friend-Close Friend-Crush-Attracted-In Love-Courting-Engaged-Married
that is the longest one can go, HOWEVER, steps can be skipped, or even switched, you can even backtrack...to go forward.
Stranger-Attracted- Friend-Courting-Close Friend
no, this is not getting friendzoned, this is a person who became attracted to another, then found "eh, not the kind of person I'd devote my life to, but they're still a good friend. What's this? A romantic relationship that ended well with both sides agreeing to remain friends? Blasphemy you may say! To which I respond...really?
3:Things change, people change, 2 people so in love with eachother that they ignore the world (Id better not see that, that's just unhealthy obsession), can find that they wake up one day and discover, le gasp! I do not le love him le anymore! first of all, no more le's, this isn't memebase *punches self*. But at the same time, people change, a married couple can decide that...its just not working anymore, break it off, try other people, find THAT doesnt work either, decide to have some drinks...and rekindle what they once had. Relationships aren't a black and white zone where one is trapped in either side...it's more like a swirling gray ocean that occasionally sucks someone deeper than they thought they'd be.
4: your thoughts are your own, just because your character's love interest hates your character, no reason to hate em back, heck, some of the best love stories are written using this idea (pride and prejudice i believe, unless im mistaken, then shun me...shun me to nonexistance)
5: Keep in mind what your character is...Introvert? Extrovert? One-eyed,one-horned,flying,purple people eater? Whatever they are, helps determine their comfortability in a relationship EXAMPLE: Dasyra has been sheltered for much of her life, and, while she wants someone to love, is embarassed with public displays of affection. Roy was raised amongst a tribe of Dwarves, in which he is found to be perfectly comfortable in his emotions, so he doesn't care where affections are shown...unless it's during a life threatening situation "WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO KISS ME WHILE IM WRESTLING THIS ALLIGATOR?!"
6: MARRIAGE DOESNT HAPPEN OVERNIGHT, and neither does "bow chika wow wows" keep in mind what your character is like and make sure they follow that guideline when they move on in a relationship. If your character wants to move on slowly, but their partner is pushing to take the next step, don't just say OOC'ly "That wouldn't happen cause my character wouldnt like it." Instead, show your character doesn't like it, and then take the response you deem appropriate, notice I didn't say "Have them deny it", it's quite simple, some people are pushovers, they might not want to take the next step, but if their partner wants to do so, they might give in. Like I said, stick to the character, this is your holy rule, follow it above all else... unless it gets you banned, then don't.
7:This ones a restatement of a rule of roleplaying but, "We don't want to hear about your boinking" Keep it out of the server, and off the forums. In this situation, skype is your friend.
8: Kissing isn't talking, a couple that smiles at eachother, talks about their childhood and interests, and just holds hands, is either in love, or trying to confuse everyone else...a couple that's making out for 2 meters of chat log is heavily attracted to eachother, but i wouldn't say "in-love" a good movie as an example is "The Heartbreak Kid" not the best movie, but good for this situation.
9: Don't be desperate, not all characters are meant to have a soulmate. dont go looking for people that your character can get with (made that mistake)don't have your character "fall in love" with every person who's single and willing. and please, please, PLEASE, don't post a thread looking for a partner, it hasnt happened yet, to my knowledge, but I'm pretty sure it wont work, unless it's an arranged marriage, then that'd work actually.
10: Have patience, let your character be themselves and either they'll find someone...or they wont, that's life.
ALSO, A SIDENOTE: I understand it's something that happens, I understand some of the reasons behind why it happens, and I understand that it's a problem that still goes on today, and I'm proud to say I haven't seen it /yet/...but please don't do abusive relationships...I'm not sure if there are people on the server who've been in one, have seen one, have been connected to one in some way...but these are generally sensitive topics that people who fall under the above criteria generally feel uncomfortable talking/hearing about, so please...just don't do them...just have your character maybe yell some generic stuff or leave the room or beat up something inanimate, nothing else.
Courting:
Generally when courting, although it's more common for a man to be courting a woman, it isn't uncommon for women to court their man since Altera is a more progressive society than Medieval England. When courting, you don't really have to do much other than spend time with the other person, this could involve talking about interests, about past, about likes and dislikes, or doing things that normal courting couples do. (hug, kiss, etc.) However, it is quite frowned upon for two lovers to "procreate" before marriage, though the consequences for this action vary based on the area you live in, while i'm not sure of the details, this is usually met with either a fine, or forcing the two individuals to marry. The average time before one is to propose depends entirely on social class due to time constrictions and expectations for their future spouse.
Lower class to lower middle class generally aren't going to get anyone with money, so they look instead for desirable helpful traits, love exists, but marriage is seen more as utility than as a bond of love. As such, this won't take too long, only a few months, to determine if their spouse would be helpful in raising a family.
Middle class to upper middle class can afford to not have these skills, but aren't really capable of attracting anyone who has serious connections or wealth and the like, as such, while they do look at wealth and finances, they usually look for favorable personality traits (THIS DOESN'T MEAN THEY LOOK FOR SOMEONE THEY LOVE). They look for someone who they would enjoy spending time with, whether they be in love or just good friends. Give a few months as well to determine if you find anything annoying or not.
Upper: Here's where they're looking at your shinies and the people you know, it's all about who you know, what they can do, what favors people owe you, how much dosh you got, all that. If you're the best chef and all that in the world, but you're poor and don't know too many people (somehow) then chances are, you're going middle or lower, definitely not upper. Generally only a few weeks for this, not hard to spot how much money and whatnot people have, though the connections can take a bit longer.
Royal: These marriages are usually arranged FOR THE MARRIAGE. That's right, Royalty usually had more than one lover, referred to as concubines, they actually are more of a combination of the three other social classes in that they have a spouse for connections and wealth a concubine to help care for your children and be able to cook (it's more for bragging rights than anything), and a concubine that was kinda like your "stress relief" when you had periods of anger and whatnot, you talk to them and they help to make you more sociable. the marriage is usually decided before an heir is born and the fated couple grows up generally without knowing the other until about a month or so before the marriage.
Marriage:
While the traditions differ based on race, social class, the area your character lives in, and possibly the characters themselves (Roy's human, but sticks with Dwarven traditions I made up) many times, the result and expectations are the same:
The two individuals will love and care for eachother until one or both has passed on.
One is expected to care for their children unless they have servants to do that for them. (While usually expected to be the wife, the father can take up this role instead)
One is expected to be the breadwinner and guardian of the family, protecting them from danger and possibly putting their life at risk. (Expected to be the husband, but the wife can take up this role instead)
marriages can be arranged between two individuals who've never met, though this isn't very common in society. (Altera's that is)
Adultery:
Adultery (when a married person procreates with someone who is not their spouse) is different based on the offender's gender:
Guilty women were often expelled from their homes, their dowries were confiscated by their husbands, or, heads shaven, they were forced to parade through the streets. The courts were also hesitant to punish men who murdered their wives' lovers (Brundage, "Sex and Canon Law," 42). In general, the notion that chastity was more important for a woman than a for a man was universal.
I couldn't find the punishment for male Adulterers, however, since the female offenders were humiliated, and their spouse generally allowed to do harm to the lover, I would assume the same for males, except possibly a more physical punishment.
Family:
Unless they're an orphan ninja assassin, your character is gonna have some family. One thing to keep in mind about Family, they're always connected to your character...no matter what, something's gonna remind them of their family at some point, whether it be pleasant or not, just make sure you always keep in mind what your character's life was like growing up, this helps determine what kind of relationship would they have with each family member
separately, that means that dad can be liked and mom respected, while big bro is disliked, and little sister is adored. Each of these words means something else
Liked- enjoys spending time with this person, a mild feeling
respected- may like or dislike, but certainly approves of their actions and or ideals
disliked- doesn't enjoy spending time with this person, a mild feeling
adored- finds this character to be cute in what they do and how they act, a mild-strong feeling
loved- has close bonds with this character, enjoys spending time with them, a strong feeling
idolized- aspires to be like this person when they grow older, very strong feeling
hated- tries to avoid contact with this person, strong feeling
disowned- doesn't consider this member a part of their family, very strong feeling
pities- doesn't dislike this character, but feels sorry for their beliefs, actions, or luck
ignores- pretends this person doesn't exist, tries to not think about them
apathetic- doesn't seem to care one way or another about this person
Friendly:
Friends act different around different friends, it isn't always to make them happiest, in fact, it's usually to best represent the role your character would think of themself as, here's an example:
Roy is less emotional and more logical around his aprentice, Erik Stoneshield, he does this as it's his job to teach Erik, though he does go overboard as he's very firm in his beliefs.
Roy tends to make fun of himself more around Akasha, even though he's her mentor like he is to Erik, the two are more like friends than teacher and student.
Roy is more calm around Thordil, this is due to him seeing thordil kinda broken, and he understands that it takes time, so it's his way of showing his friend that he'll give him time.
Each of these friends are equal in Roy's eyes, yet he acts differently around them because of his own feeling of how he /should/ act
Newly Acquainted:
This one's pretty short and sweet, just keep in mind what your character is like around new people, and know what you're character is like in general, you'll be golden.
Romantic:
1:Keep IC, guys, don't have your character instantly fall in love with a woman/guy just because YOU think they'd make a match, I'm the only one with a matchmaker on the server (so far, also, that is not meant to be taken seriously *punched for explaining joke*) But also, if your character is in a relationship, and something happens that changes how your character would view their S.O. from their point of view? Make it happen. example:
*Dasyra sees Alustrum hugging Lizzy, not knowing who Lizzy is, and having Dasyra be a bit possessive, she'd get a bit angry. If Alustrum doesn't like women jumping to conclusions, he might not like Dasyra as much, relationship may have rocky future.*
2: a common misconception is that two people have to really know each other in order to fall in love, this is not entirely true. HOWEVER, NO LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT!! There is a LARGE difference between 'Love' and 'Attraction' attraction can lead to love, but they're certainly not the same, here is an example of how some romantic relationships can progress:
Stranger-Acquaintance-Friend-Good Friend-Close Friend-Crush-Attracted-In Love-Courting-Engaged-Married
that is the longest one can go, HOWEVER, steps can be skipped, or even switched, you can even backtrack...to go forward.
Stranger-Attracted- Friend-Courting-Close Friend
no, this is not getting friendzoned, this is a person who became attracted to another, then found "eh, not the kind of person I'd devote my life to, but they're still a good friend. What's this? A romantic relationship that ended well with both sides agreeing to remain friends? Blasphemy you may say! To which I respond...really?
3:Things change, people change, 2 people so in love with eachother that they ignore the world (Id better not see that, that's just unhealthy obsession), can find that they wake up one day and discover, le gasp! I do not le love him le anymore! first of all, no more le's, this isn't memebase *punches self*. But at the same time, people change, a married couple can decide that...its just not working anymore, break it off, try other people, find THAT doesnt work either, decide to have some drinks...and rekindle what they once had. Relationships aren't a black and white zone where one is trapped in either side...it's more like a swirling gray ocean that occasionally sucks someone deeper than they thought they'd be.
4: your thoughts are your own, just because your character's love interest hates your character, no reason to hate em back, heck, some of the best love stories are written using this idea (pride and prejudice i believe, unless im mistaken, then shun me...shun me to nonexistance)
5: Keep in mind what your character is...Introvert? Extrovert? One-eyed,one-horned,flying,purple people eater? Whatever they are, helps determine their comfortability in a relationship EXAMPLE: Dasyra has been sheltered for much of her life, and, while she wants someone to love, is embarassed with public displays of affection. Roy was raised amongst a tribe of Dwarves, in which he is found to be perfectly comfortable in his emotions, so he doesn't care where affections are shown...unless it's during a life threatening situation "WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO KISS ME WHILE IM WRESTLING THIS ALLIGATOR?!"
6: MARRIAGE DOESNT HAPPEN OVERNIGHT, and neither does "bow chika wow wows" keep in mind what your character is like and make sure they follow that guideline when they move on in a relationship. If your character wants to move on slowly, but their partner is pushing to take the next step, don't just say OOC'ly "That wouldn't happen cause my character wouldnt like it." Instead, show your character doesn't like it, and then take the response you deem appropriate, notice I didn't say "Have them deny it", it's quite simple, some people are pushovers, they might not want to take the next step, but if their partner wants to do so, they might give in. Like I said, stick to the character, this is your holy rule, follow it above all else... unless it gets you banned, then don't.
7:This ones a restatement of a rule of roleplaying but, "We don't want to hear about your boinking" Keep it out of the server, and off the forums. In this situation, skype is your friend.
8: Kissing isn't talking, a couple that smiles at eachother, talks about their childhood and interests, and just holds hands, is either in love, or trying to confuse everyone else...a couple that's making out for 2 meters of chat log is heavily attracted to eachother, but i wouldn't say "in-love" a good movie as an example is "The Heartbreak Kid" not the best movie, but good for this situation.
9: Don't be desperate, not all characters are meant to have a soulmate. dont go looking for people that your character can get with (made that mistake)don't have your character "fall in love" with every person who's single and willing. and please, please, PLEASE, don't post a thread looking for a partner, it hasnt happened yet, to my knowledge, but I'm pretty sure it wont work, unless it's an arranged marriage, then that'd work actually.
10: Have patience, let your character be themselves and either they'll find someone...or they wont, that's life.
ALSO, A SIDENOTE: I understand it's something that happens, I understand some of the reasons behind why it happens, and I understand that it's a problem that still goes on today, and I'm proud to say I haven't seen it /yet/...but please don't do abusive relationships...I'm not sure if there are people on the server who've been in one, have seen one, have been connected to one in some way...but these are generally sensitive topics that people who fall under the above criteria generally feel uncomfortable talking/hearing about, so please...just don't do them...just have your character maybe yell some generic stuff or leave the room or beat up something inanimate, nothing else.
Courting:
Generally when courting, although it's more common for a man to be courting a woman, it isn't uncommon for women to court their man since Altera is a more progressive society than Medieval England. When courting, you don't really have to do much other than spend time with the other person, this could involve talking about interests, about past, about likes and dislikes, or doing things that normal courting couples do. (hug, kiss, etc.) However, it is quite frowned upon for two lovers to "procreate" before marriage, though the consequences for this action vary based on the area you live in, while i'm not sure of the details, this is usually met with either a fine, or forcing the two individuals to marry. The average time before one is to propose depends entirely on social class due to time constrictions and expectations for their future spouse.
Lower class to lower middle class generally aren't going to get anyone with money, so they look instead for desirable helpful traits, love exists, but marriage is seen more as utility than as a bond of love. As such, this won't take too long, only a few months, to determine if their spouse would be helpful in raising a family.
Middle class to upper middle class can afford to not have these skills, but aren't really capable of attracting anyone who has serious connections or wealth and the like, as such, while they do look at wealth and finances, they usually look for favorable personality traits (THIS DOESN'T MEAN THEY LOOK FOR SOMEONE THEY LOVE). They look for someone who they would enjoy spending time with, whether they be in love or just good friends. Give a few months as well to determine if you find anything annoying or not.
Upper: Here's where they're looking at your shinies and the people you know, it's all about who you know, what they can do, what favors people owe you, how much dosh you got, all that. If you're the best chef and all that in the world, but you're poor and don't know too many people (somehow) then chances are, you're going middle or lower, definitely not upper. Generally only a few weeks for this, not hard to spot how much money and whatnot people have, though the connections can take a bit longer.
Royal: These marriages are usually arranged FOR THE MARRIAGE. That's right, Royalty usually had more than one lover, referred to as concubines, they actually are more of a combination of the three other social classes in that they have a spouse for connections and wealth a concubine to help care for your children and be able to cook (it's more for bragging rights than anything), and a concubine that was kinda like your "stress relief" when you had periods of anger and whatnot, you talk to them and they help to make you more sociable. the marriage is usually decided before an heir is born and the fated couple grows up generally without knowing the other until about a month or so before the marriage.
Marriage:
While the traditions differ based on race, social class, the area your character lives in, and possibly the characters themselves (Roy's human, but sticks with Dwarven traditions I made up) many times, the result and expectations are the same:
The two individuals will love and care for eachother until one or both has passed on.
One is expected to care for their children unless they have servants to do that for them. (While usually expected to be the wife, the father can take up this role instead)
One is expected to be the breadwinner and guardian of the family, protecting them from danger and possibly putting their life at risk. (Expected to be the husband, but the wife can take up this role instead)
marriages can be arranged between two individuals who've never met, though this isn't very common in society. (Altera's that is)
Adultery:
Adultery (when a married person procreates with someone who is not their spouse) is different based on the offender's gender:
Guilty women were often expelled from their homes, their dowries were confiscated by their husbands, or, heads shaven, they were forced to parade through the streets. The courts were also hesitant to punish men who murdered their wives' lovers (Brundage, "Sex and Canon Law," 42). In general, the notion that chastity was more important for a woman than a for a man was universal.
I couldn't find the punishment for male Adulterers, however, since the female offenders were humiliated, and their spouse generally allowed to do harm to the lover, I would assume the same for males, except possibly a more physical punishment.
Family:
Unless they're an orphan ninja assassin, your character is gonna have some family. One thing to keep in mind about Family, they're always connected to your character...no matter what, something's gonna remind them of their family at some point, whether it be pleasant or not, just make sure you always keep in mind what your character's life was like growing up, this helps determine what kind of relationship would they have with each family member
separately, that means that dad can be liked and mom respected, while big bro is disliked, and little sister is adored. Each of these words means something else
Liked- enjoys spending time with this person, a mild feeling
respected- may like or dislike, but certainly approves of their actions and or ideals
disliked- doesn't enjoy spending time with this person, a mild feeling
adored- finds this character to be cute in what they do and how they act, a mild-strong feeling
loved- has close bonds with this character, enjoys spending time with them, a strong feeling
idolized- aspires to be like this person when they grow older, very strong feeling
hated- tries to avoid contact with this person, strong feeling
disowned- doesn't consider this member a part of their family, very strong feeling
pities- doesn't dislike this character, but feels sorry for their beliefs, actions, or luck
ignores- pretends this person doesn't exist, tries to not think about them
apathetic- doesn't seem to care one way or another about this person
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