Wo's application [Declined - Reapplying - Tiberione]

[wo.]

1. What is your minecraft username?

Wo

2. How old are you?

17 years

3. What gender are you?

Male

4. What country do you live in?

The Netherlands

5a. Do you agree to read our Survival Guide before logging onto the server?

I have read it

5b. Do you agree to consult both our Tome of Citizenship and Everything you need to know page before asking any questions in the game?

I have read it

6. Please provide a lengthy in-character introduction.

Wandering the lonely snow forest of Marnia, I feel like I'm about to give up. Weeks of severe cold have weakened my body to the point of collapse. Before I fall to the ground, I feel like I need to introduce myself. My name is Wo, a wizard's son of humble standing, descendant of the mighty Nerlin, but unfortunately not gifted with magic powers. However, I am a talented archer and have won many ranging contests, thusly earning my bread. My name is actually a nickname given by my comrades; my real name is Wobin Bood. As I am about to fall to the ground I seem to hear a gallop: I scream for help. A horseman arrives and pulls me onto the back of his horse,
bringing me to a pink castle where nurses heal me and give me lots of bananas. Feeling completely healthy again, I decide to continue the journey I was on, the journey to Chorris'nuk...

7. Please introduce yourself to the community; explaining who you are, what your interests and/or hobbies are and why you would like to be a part of our community in around 8 sentences or more. You do not have to disclose any personal information if you don't want to, but we'd just like to know what kind of person you are.

Never have I seen such a nice server, oh by the way, my name is Wo and I have been playing since the beginning.
Going to school is my favourite occupation, I aspire to become a wealthy businessman,
give money to the poor and make the world a better place overall.
You could help me further my role-playing story, and change my life.
Up, my hobbies include drawing, laughing with my comrades (haha), single-handedly juggling three pens, and I'm excited about role-playing as a magic knight in real life. Furthermore, I'm fond of cooking.
I want to become a part of this community, because it seems to be a really friendly one at first sight and because one really has to do his best to join it.

8. Do you have any examples of your work and creativity, either in minecraft or outside? You can attach them to this post using the "upload a file" button or link to the image or video.



9. Is there anything else you wish to share with us?

-

10. Are you aware that the use of black magic (xray,xray texture packs and ore locator mods) is not allowed on our server, and a banishable offense?

Yes I do, and I have always frowned upon cheaters

11. How did you find out about our server?

I found it at MCserverlist

12. Have you voted for us? (Click Here)

Yes I have

 

[Baron]

Dun worry Abbey, I'll handle it.

Your application is interesting, but it does need some work for acceptance.

First and foremost is your answer to #6. It needs to be an introduction to your character, not a backstory. It should read less like the back of a book cover and more like the first page of the book. Introduce Wo as a person by telling a story in which you describe his emotions, actions, and thoughts from his perspective. You can do this through classical first-person storytelling or through entries in the character's journal (should he have one), or in your own creative fashion.

The second point also has to do with #6. Around these parts, characters being overpowered isn't often approved. While your Wo doesn't seem to have any innate overpowered attributes, going on a quest to retrieve a "mystical weapon that can control the very fabric of time" does appear to be overpowered, especially if he has that weapon. You should try to stick to the lore of the server (found in the Player's Handbook), as it is expressly forbidden to control/modify time in any way, shape, or form.

Finally, you should write some more for your answer to #7. The question requires a minimum of 8 sentences, and you've written three. Please write some more about yourself!

That's all I can see that needs work. Good luck with your application!

 

[wo.]

alright, I'll try again:

The story begins with a young monkey-tailed boy named Wo befriending a teenage girl named Ms Fresh. Together they go on a quest to find the seven Monkey Booboos, which grant the user any fruit they desire before spreading back out across the world, leading to confrontations with the desert bandit Ali Bouali, who later becomes an ally, Choochoo Gboogie, whom Wo unknowingly agrees to marry, and Sinep who is also collecting them. Wo then undergoes rigorous training regimes under the martial artist Mr Mahogy in order to fight in a martial arts tournament that attracts the most powerful fighters in the world. A monk named Arrok becomes his training partner and rival, but they soon become best friends. After the tournament, Wo sets out on his own to recover the Monkey Booboo his Granduncle left him and encounters the Pink Ribbon Army, whose leader wants to collect the Monkey Booboos for himself. He almost single-handedly defeats the army, including their hired assassin Iapiapoat, whom he originally lost to, but after training under Nirak, now easily beats. Wo reunites with his friends to defeat the fortuneteller Tyson-beel's fighters and have her locate the last Monkey Booboo in order to revive a friend killed by Iapiapoat. And thus the story continues...

 

[Anithola]

A small detail that will be beneficial in the future; Always use the edit button if you are adding more information to another post. Also what my bro Baron Baron Aron said ^ But a good start indeed!

 

[Baron]

Once again, you've got an issue with overpowering. One man defeating a whole army is essentially the definition of overpowered. Try to tone it down a bit. I can see him taking one or two guys in a street fight, but not a whole army.

Also, you've once again written a backstory. What we're after is something that describes things from Wo's point of view. Don't describe what he has done, but describe what he is currently doing.

Also, you should make use of the Edit button underneath your first post. There is no need for additional comments when you can simply edit an existing post

 

[wo.]

7. Please introduce yourself to the community; explaining who you are, what your interests and/or hobbies are and why you would like to be a part of our community in around 8 sentences or more. You do not have to disclose any personal information if you don't want to, but we'd just like to know what kind of person you are.

Never have I seen such a nice server, oh by the way, my name is Wo and I have been playing since the beginning.
Going to school is one of my favourite occupations, but I aspire to one day become a very wealthy businessman,
give money to the poor and make the world a better place overall.
You could help me further my role-playing story, and change my life.
Up, my hobbies include drawing, laughing with my comrades (haha), single-handedly juggling three pens, and I'm excited about role-playing as a magic knight in real life. Furthermore, I'm fond of cooking.
I want to become a part of this community, because it seems to be a really friendly one at first sight and because one really has to do his best to join it.

 

[Anithola]

The edit button -.- use it...

 

[wo.]

Wandering the lonely snow forest of Marnia, I feel like I'm about to give up. Weeks of severe cold have weakened my body to the point of collapse. Before I fall to the ground, I feel like I need to introduce myself. My name is Wo, a wizard's son of humble standing, descendant of the mighty Nerlin, but unfortunately not gifted with magic powers. However, I am a talented archer and have won many ranging contests, thusly earning my bread. My name is actually a nickname given by my comrades; my real name is Wobin Bood. As I am about to fall to the ground I seem to hear a gallop: I scream for help. A horseman arrives and pulls me onto the back of his horse,
bringing me to a pink castle where nurses heal me and give me lots of bananas. Feeling completely healthy again, I decide to continue the journey I was on, the journey to Chorris'nuk...

 

[Anithola]

The edit button under your post darnit, LOL.

 

[wo.]

ok

 

[SallyPirate]

Wo, please use the edit button and fix up your first post. And please reread what Baron has said, he's helped out on heaps on applications, he knows what's what

 

[wo.]

I've done all of that now

 

[SallyPirate]

Please be more mature.. a pink castle and Chorris'nuk, seriously?

 

[Anithola]

A horseman arrives and pulls me onto the back of his horse,bringing me to a pink castle where nurses heal me and give me lots of bananas.

What sally said, you should read the lore to get a picture of what we need to approve you, it can be found in the players handbook section

 

[wo.]

Does all of this really matter so much? I don't think anyone has put more effort into joining the server than me.

 

[Anithola]

wrong, you should check other applications, theres people who have spent more than a total of 8 hours on just writing their applications, and i am not saying you will have to do that, but pink castles and nurses healing you with loads of banans is not the theme we are looking for. As i said you should see other approved applications to see what the mods and admins need to approve you, good luck!

 

[wo.]

Maybe consider having your character giving an opinion in situations like these:


You find a lost child. The child pleads for you to help him find his mother.

"My mommy, can you help me find my mommy?"

Fear not, little man, I is here to help you!

"Cut the crap Wo, and help me please."

Alright, your loss kid.. Could you describe your mother to me, and where you have seen her the last time?

"My mother is a good looking woman with a ghetto-booty, she likes the music of the jungle and listens to the name of shaneequa."

O thank you very much for the information; I just happen to see her over there.

"Thank you Wo, you are my hero!"

You are walking along the shore when you find a sunken ship.

Wow, isn't that strange! a sunken ship!
Let's check it out because I am such an adventurer.

You are in the Laughing Lamb when a drunk man approaches you and insults you.

Oi you, get back here you filthy drunken scum! Let me kick your ass in the same way I save lost children!
"O noes what have I done! It's the Wo who is good at roleplaying and such! he will kick my ass." ~leaves the pub~

And yet again, Wo has saved the day!


What do you do in situations like these?

 

[NiNi]

I'm not sure that language may be appropriate here. Try and remember this is a Medieval Themed Role-playing server, modern language and swearing just isn't right here.

Also the whole Hero thing, not everyone is a hero. We have people on this server who work behind bard, farm for a living. I'm not saying don't try to be everybody's hero, just try and go for something you might actually do, rather than what you want to.

Try and be creative, but do a little reading, we do have Lore we have to follow

 

[Anithola]

*leaves thread sobbing*

 

[wo.]

Oooh... roleplaying like playing a real role... you could've said that before anithola, I tried to be as epic as possible