To the godless sodomites who dare make demands of their betters,
To contest a claim, one must first demonstrate capability to contest. Your ranks include merchants, priestesses, a confessed guild of brigands, and for some strange purpose unknown to all but God and perhaps yourselves, a group of dwarves twice. If it is an attempt to pad your numbers and put fear into my heart, then it has failed, but I shall be sure to notify you the day that these frighten me and mine own band of just knights into ceasing our claims. In short, to your first request, my answer is return with a warband to challenge my noble retinue before I view your demand in any serious light.
Your second demand is for me to relinquish lands that my leal bannermen have shed far too much blood to police and make orderly. I truly don't know what Scira is, but now that you've told me about it, I've decided that I want it. If you want to die defending it, then I wish a peaceful passage to the heavens for you. To deny my right to claim and conquer is to deny the divine right the Lightbringer has put upon me as King.
I've come upon now your third and fourth demands, and I must say that you've really put your heart and your soul into this piece of writing. Will it offend you when my hounds have pissed upon it and it crumbles to ash in my hearth? By right of conquest any land I deem mine belongs to me and my faithful vassals. And as to your baseless and undeniably false accusations of xenophobia and distrust for foreign nations, there are none I love more than those orderly, God-fearing sorts who have the might to establish a nation and to command the fear that is behind xenophobia. If you come across some, could you send them my way? I'd love to make their acquaintance.
As to your final statement, which is an open declaration of war upon my heavenly kingdom bestowed by the Lightbringer- I say this because there is no force known by man or God that could drive me to endure a trip to your den of degeneracy, witchcraft, and heresy to treat with you, and none that could possibly make me treat you as equals demanding fair judgement and respectful political discourse – I believe my response can be summed up in two short statements :
To contest a claim, one must first demonstrate capability to contest. Your ranks include merchants, priestesses, a confessed guild of brigands, and for some strange purpose unknown to all but God and perhaps yourselves, a group of dwarves twice. If it is an attempt to pad your numbers and put fear into my heart, then it has failed, but I shall be sure to notify you the day that these frighten me and mine own band of just knights into ceasing our claims. In short, to your first request, my answer is return with a warband to challenge my noble retinue before I view your demand in any serious light.
Your second demand is for me to relinquish lands that my leal bannermen have shed far too much blood to police and make orderly. I truly don't know what Scira is, but now that you've told me about it, I've decided that I want it. If you want to die defending it, then I wish a peaceful passage to the heavens for you. To deny my right to claim and conquer is to deny the divine right the Lightbringer has put upon me as King.
I've come upon now your third and fourth demands, and I must say that you've really put your heart and your soul into this piece of writing. Will it offend you when my hounds have pissed upon it and it crumbles to ash in my hearth? By right of conquest any land I deem mine belongs to me and my faithful vassals. And as to your baseless and undeniably false accusations of xenophobia and distrust for foreign nations, there are none I love more than those orderly, God-fearing sorts who have the might to establish a nation and to command the fear that is behind xenophobia. If you come across some, could you send them my way? I'd love to make their acquaintance.
As to your final statement, which is an open declaration of war upon my heavenly kingdom bestowed by the Lightbringer- I say this because there is no force known by man or God that could drive me to endure a trip to your den of degeneracy, witchcraft, and heresy to treat with you, and none that could possibly make me treat you as equals demanding fair judgement and respectful political discourse – I believe my response can be summed up in two short statements :
Come throw your corpses upon my city gates. I've not had a good fucking fight in ages.
Best Wishes and Warm Regards,The One True King, Peter the First of House Hallon, Graf von Breakwater, loyal servant of the only God
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