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mag'nis venomfang, the phantom

vanar

Legend of Altera
Name: mag'nis VenomFang
Nickname/Alias: mag'nis
Age: 114
Gender:male
Race: phantom (undead)
Height: 6 foot 10
Weight: avrage
Hair: pure wight
Eyes: purple
Skin: gray but hidden by his tatterd uthrandir rope or whats left of it
Religion and cults: is is forever a follower and the first spawn of skraag
Profession: currently he is building in the town of webb
slight story

"Welcome children of the all mighty skraag have you come for a tale of a great necromancer he hand picked you all for your worthyness" the children smile with delight knowing this will be one about his origins.
"now now no need to be to excited oo where to begin...... let us start at the begining"
there was a time when dragons still flew and when birds of fire battled them, the mighty god were still young at the time they were begining to grow into power some were corruted by an evil some were neutrel and they sleped in the earth some whent to the heavens and became beings of light an order. they were to create spawns in thee own image the neutral gods created elementals and other creations of nature. the gods of light made the cursed paladin legion.

(this is in a vally where there spawns lived before they went into a war of power.) an the evil god created demons and other horrific creatures such as the corrupters who vanished soon after they spawned, but skraag found humans and he met the first of the many who would follow he didnt have a name but skraag named him venomfang the first born/

"now children the human was killed an reanimated with the most powerfull spell an thats why he is still human" the man said smugly untill one of the children yells for him to continue, "very well"

venomfang was hated because he would bring the fallen back as mindless creatures eventually he was attacked by the paladins. And it sparked something within venomfang he used a spell and green fire erupted from the ground killing 3 of the paladins witch made fed slraag and he gave venomfang a name before venomfang, Mangn'is
from that day foward he was know as magn'is venomfang the prince of death.

after 500 years Magn'is already have 100 followers and they were summoning creatures from the fallen paladins they were knows as the acursed after a 750 years of war the paladons were gifted the power of holy magic witch made the undead burn from its power.

but venom was also gifted he was given the power of a lich knight (lich knights are only given to true loyal followers of skraag) he also munipulated a master undead killer to build him the lshadow hunter. this wepon was originaly going to be a holy spear of light but with magn'ies
aigc he tricked him and he instead created a wepon that sucked the hunters life out and fed skraag evan more power. (just to let you know the wepon vanished when he had finished skraag dutie so ill never get it :p)

after 1000 years the paladin legion did one finale attack on magn'is but he had his ow army
he had power over corruted earth and fire elementals, he evan had cyclopsis that were dead an reanimated along with some ghouls he would have been unstopable.

"now his army didnt last the holy magic over powered the army killeing all of the beasts" the man said with a glum look in his face after what he said the children through magm'is was dead so they asked if it is the end. the old master gave them a glare of death its self an killed who said if he was dead the rest fell silent.

before the paladins could selabrate there victory they see one finale creature arise the paladins with there proud faces let one of the initiates kill it but while he walked over ready to stike he noticed it wasnt any ghoul, nor was it a skeliton before he could react a mini scyth wen through his chest and sucking his life away. The paladins realised when they saw the initiate fall to the gound an get back up as one of them. they were shocked when they say a hooded figure with a green glowing eyes that made there skin crawl. But the camtin was undeterd and told the remaining 100 paladins to charge and kill him one by one the paladins fell to the necromancers skill with twin mini scyths, untill only the paladin lord remaind the necromancer was fatiged from th others he was weak after a hole day of battle the paladin, but in the end the necroancer won he stabed his scyth in to his dyeing body an his soul was being sucked strait from his bodyan sent to skraag.

"you foolish children he was stronger then the army he was able to survive the battle magn'is is not weak like you he was almost a god himself...... but he was so weak and he finished his goal that skraag took all his power and sent him into hiding untill a new age when he is needed. he was capturde and cursed for who know how long aftr that fatefull day he vanished never to be seen again. that is why we are a dyeing race we need a new master to teach us may skraag send him back to us." this is the finale tale for you children for my age has taken me i must return to skraag in his plane may the shadow protect you from justice
 

Karasu1996

Lord of Altera
erm not necessarily a Character profile... youve got the top half right, but the story is WAAAAAAY too short, tell us where he was born and how he became to be, dont be lazy and put, " well he doesnt remember his past" use your head and write! we want to see mroe out of poeple! and im looking forward to reading your narrative.
 

vanar

Legend of Altera
booooyaaahhh epic story right there and i tryed to add grammar an punctuation
 

Gaby

Lord of Altera
Name: mag'nis sorrow shade (Venomfang or Sorrowshade?)
Nickname/Alias: mag'nis
Age: 114 (p'shaw, he's older)
Gender:male
Race: phantom (undead)
Height: 6 foot 10
Weight: average
Hair: pure white
Eyes: purple (weren't they green?)
Skin: gray, but hidden by his tattered uthrandir robe. Whats left of it.
Religion and cults: is is forever a follower and the first spawn of skraag
Profession: currently he is building in the town of webb



Fancy Title:

(describe the storyteller!)"Welcome, children of the all mighty Skraag. Have you come for a tale of a great necromancer? he hand picked you all for your worthyness(more specific?)" the children smile with delight, knowing this will be the tale of his past. (they did something! bounced up and down with excitement! shouted "oh yes yes yes, tell us! or stared intently, because these are the children of Death.)
"now, now! no need to be too excited! Now, where to begin...... let us start at the beginning"

(fancy line to show the shift in perspective!)

there was a time when dragons still flew and when birds of fire battled them, and the mighty gods were still young. as they began to grow in power, some were corruted by an evil, some slept in the earth, some went to the heavens and became beings of light and order. the gods then created beings in their own image. the neutral gods created elementals and other creations of nature. The gods of light made the cursed paladin legion.(next time, consult the lore. please. This honorary loremaster badge isn't for show.)

(this is in a valley where there spawns lived before they went into a war of power.(???)) The evil gods created demons and other horrific creatures such as the corrupters, who vanished soon after they spawned. But Skraag found humans and among them, he met the first of the many who would follow. This man didnt have a name, but Skraag named him Venomfang the first born.

"then the human was killed, and reanimated with the most powerfull spell available to Skraag. That is why he is still human" the man said smugly. one of the children yells for him to continue. "very well, child"

venomfang was hated, because he would use his powers bring the fallen back as mindless creatures. eventually he was attacked by the paladins. And it sparked something within venomfang. He used a spell, and green fire erupted from the ground, killing 3 of the paladins. Skraag was pleased, and he gave venomfang a new name, Mangn'is.
from that day foward he was known as magn'is venomfang the prince of death.

500 years passed, and already Magn'is had 100 followers, summoning creatures from the fallen paladins. they were known as the Accursed. After the 750 year war, the paladins were gifted the power of holy magic (from who?) which made the undead burn from its power.

but venom was also gifted, given the power of a lich knight (only given to true loyal followers of skraag(I sense a coming parallel!)), and he manipulated a master undead killer to build him the Shadow Hunter. Originaly a holy spear of light, but with magn'is' magic, he tricked him and he instead created a wepon that sucked the hunters life out and fed skraag evan more power. (this should be told in a narrative form! I could write it for you.)

after 1000 years, (perhaps you could elaborate on what he did?) the paladin legion attacked magn'is one last time, but it was too late. He had his own army now, and power over corrupted earth and fire elementals. his army of the undead even had even had cyclopes and ghouls. No one would face him.

"now, his army, strong as it was, couldn't stand the holy magic. over powered, the undead all fell(,their bodies turning to dust)." the man said with a glum look in his face. after what he said the children thought magn'is was dead. One asked if it was the end. the old master glared. (suddenly, without a sound,) He killed [the insolent brat], and the rest fell silent.

before the paladins could Celebrate their victory, they saw one final creature rise. the paladins, proud and vain, let one of the initiates try and kill it. But while the initiate walked over, ready to strike, he noticed it wasnt any ghoul, nor was it a skeleton. Before he could react a scythe went through his chest, sucking his life away. The paladins stared in horror, as the initiate fell to the ground, rising up as one of the undead. They were shocked when they saw the hooded figure with a green glowing eyes. it's eyes made their skin crawl. But the camtin(?) was undetered, and told the remaining 100 paladins to charge and kill the floating figure. One by one the paladins fell to the necromancer's twin scythes, 'till only the paladin lord remained.(something about the lord overpowering him?) The necromancer was fatigued, weak after an entire day of battle. But in the end the necromancer won. He stabbed the scythe into his dying body, and his soul was sucked straight from his body, sent to Skraag.

"you foolish children. he was stronger then the army, and he survived. Magn'is is not weak, like you. He was almost a god himself...... but he was weakened, and when he sent to Skraag, the god took all his power and sent him into hiding untill a new age when he is needed. he was captured and cursed for who knows how long. Then he vanished. never to be seen again.

that is why we are a dying race. We need a new master to teach us, and may skraag send him back to us. this is the finale tale for you, children, for my age has taken me. I must return to skraag in his plane. May the shadows protect you from justice."
the errors make it hard to read, so I fixed it! mostly. this is a real piece of work, and it needs to be fact checked with the lore, but I like it! (oh yeah, OP issues. there's also that.)
btw, halfway through, I began to wonder if some of the errors in grammar an spelling were intentional. :/
were they?
 

Gaby

Lord of Altera
"Long ago, I was born as a great shadow, that devoured all in my path. Now I am but a ghost of my former self, never to be known as the first spawn ever again. I am only a phantom, but I demand respect!"

doublefix! I'm like a grammar Nazi, only less obnoxious!
 

vanar

Legend of Altera
wait you edited my work!!!!!!!!! GRAAAHH *gos into fenzy* ........... wait thanks that relly helped (so you edited all of it can i use it?
 

vanar

Legend of Altera
let me exsplain this vally is where god mess with creatures (such as human) its like an arena and who ever wins gets to go free
i won but brutaly slaughtering a lot of paladins so i was free
now they think it was a place of gloryiou war they dont know it was an arena
 

Gaby

Lord of Altera
let me exsplain this vally is where god mess with creatures (such as human) its like an arena and who ever wins gets to go free
i won by brutaly slaughtering a lot of paladins so i was free
now they think it was a place of glorious war they dont know it was an arena
...
this really needs to be elaborated into something way bigger. like with chapters and stuff. you can't have something this big as a small thing.
 

vanar

Legend of Altera
thats for the help many thanks an if you can get me a time ill try an be there but im chaotic neutrel now becuase i was chaotic evil but now neutrel so ill be a little bit i dunno i might to taken back to skraag thing
 
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